|
How do you know you've found "the one"?
I know I'm young (16) but I've been curious about "the one" lately, and I have a few personal questions to ask.
What is "the one" to you? (If you're married now, how did you know your spouse was the one?)
How long did it take to realize it? Is three months enough if you've known the person for a long time but have only been together for three months?
I spend all my time with my boyfriend. He's very responsible, very neat and organized, smart, and good with children. I am around him so much that I see him in several situations, like grocery shopping and decision making and all the so-called important things in life. Not only do I feel like he could be the one, but we have such an amazing bond. Our trust is so strong and we're best friends: telling each other everything, sleeping over at each other's houses, etc. But we've only been dating for three months. He talks about the future subtly, and he says he won't leave unless I say the word. Am I just insanely infatuated or could he be the one? He's 17.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You don't.
The One isn't a person - it's an idea.
Some people will be very angry at me saying this, but there is no such thing as The One. It's just a story we tell ourselves.
Stories are important and powerful, but they aren't necessarily true. The truth is that there are many people out there we can be in relationships with. Some relationship might be better than others, but there are many people out there that each of us might end up with.
"The One" is about making a choice, and continuing to make that choice every day, about who you want to be with in the world.
You ARE insanely infatuated! You are 16 and you've dated this guy for three months! You should be infatuated. That doesn't mean he's not The One, and it doesn't mean he is The One either.
Don’t go looking for “The One”. Remember that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice about how to treat another person, and it’s okay to change your mind. Right now, focus on making good choices in your life. Seems like you know you’re off to a good start with this guy. Just keep that up for a while.
]
It's really hard to say. Everyone has a different definition of what the "one" is like. I'm not married. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we've been on and off for 4. We've had a lot of struggles to go through and we still do today. I think he may be the one and I hope he is but there's no way of knowing until it happens. I guess I feel like if I label him as being the one than I might get my hopes up. I believe some of the qualities and support he gives me is why I think he is the man I want to be with. He supports me in what I like to do and encourages me to speak up and to use my voice. My boyfriend is also my best friend. We always laugh together and make jokes together and we always have fun. Are there some serious times? Of course not everything can be fun and games all the time. We've talked about the future and such but right now we live in the present and we're enjoying each others company at the moment. Life is too short to rush things.
Relationships are bumpy it's not always a steady ride. It's how you handle the bumps in the relationships that shows if you're relationship is strong.
With past boyfriends I always thought I had to be with them 24/7 and that I had to cater to them I was wrong. I lost myself when I was with them and I didn't know what to do when I was single. My boyfriend now lets me be me and doesn't try to make me someone I'm not. I don't see him everyday and I might not speak to him all the time but I know he loves me and I know that thinks of me. I do the same with him. I guess it's the feeling I have and the trust that I have with him. I feel comfortable in the relationship because I don't have to cater to his needs. At first I was lost because I thought that we needed to be together all the time to have a relationship that was similar to others. It's better to do things apart like hang out with friends and have a few hobbies. Many relationships are different from one another so to judge your relaitonships based on others isn't necessarily going to work.
I'm having the best time of my life with this man. He truly makes me happy and makes me want to be a better person. We've been through a lot together and when I was first with him I didn't realize what he meant to me. I realized over time that and especially last year that he means a lot to me. I guess when you are willing to do anything for that person and sacrifice things it shows hwo much you truly care for that person.
Live in the now, appreciate the time you are spending with him now. Don't rush things you're young.
]
I don't believe in using the term "The one" There is no definite way to know whether someone is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. You are young, I wouldn't be worrying so much about settling down with someone or even thinking along those terms.
Now as far as my terms; I think if someone makes you happy, You fully trust one another are happy spending time with them then I guess you could say they make a pretty good partner but I would never put a label on it. I didn't even start thinking along the lines of marriage and settling down until I was in my 20's so my best advice is don't worry about it. If the guy makes you happy then that's great but just enjoy spending time with him as it is and worry about the long term a few years down the road.
]
More Questions: |