|
I don't know who I am anymore.
I'm 16f I lost myself over the past couple year actually when I started to really like boys. Like 6th grade that when I lost myself because over the years I've changed so guys could like me I change for every guy I like as in I turn to there interweave that I don't even know what I truly like. I feel lost and alone. Never had a boyfriend or kiss. I remember when I was all into sports and I allways wore shorts but since I lost myself Im not really good in anything. I'm not good in a particular thing I feel like I'm not good at anything that I can't do anything right. I just want to get good grades and find what I really like. How?? I study so much and I still get b's in my family everyone gets A's I get some A's and some B's.help
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Dear friend, I can definitely understand what it feels like to be confused or even depressed, like when nothing seems to be going right. There are a few different things in your question that I could respond to, but for the sake of time, and clarity, I am just going to respond to one of the most important things you want to know about: knowing who you are, and what you truly like.
I think that you are in good company, first of all. Many people around your age, struggle to understand who they are and what is important to them.
One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to get in the habit of writing a journal. It can be something that is only for yourself, or you can even choose to share it, as a blog, as some do.
If this is new to you, you can try it first as "freewriting," writing just whatever comes out, without trying to make it one way or another. The best way to start this is just to set aside 5 minutes, or 15, or 30, or even more! to write. Then just start writing, no matter what comes out, no matter how crazy, silly, boring, scary, embarrassing it seems. And keep going without changing or correcting, until the time is up!
You can then play games like imagine you are interested in someone else, and asking them questions about what their values are, what things inspire them, what makes them happy. Hypothetical questions like "what would you do if your brother stole some money from a stranger?" or "If you could travel anywhere in the world and stay there for 1 week, where would you go, and how would you spend your time?"
What's nice about this, is that you can have the opportunity to see the thoughts and feelings you had today, in the future. This gives you a better handle on how you are now, and it also gives you an awareness of your freedom of choice, and how the choices you make now will impact the future.
I realize this is long-winded, and I apologize for that. I wanted to share this with you, but didn't want to take the time to revise it.
I know that you will be able to take what is valuable from it, and let the rest go.
Thanks for reading this!
]
You have asked a question that is really hard to answer.
First I would say your doing something right if your getting A's and B's in school. Not everyone gets all A's or all B's. The majority of people are average meaning they earn C's and B's. The fact that the rest of your family gets all A's does not mean you are doing anything wrong. In fact it is very possible you are trying to hard. Think about that for a moment.
The next step in finding out who you are is stop trying to be all things to all people. Meaning don't change to be something you think a boy wants you to be just to be with him. It is normal for a young teenager to, not exactly be lost, but to try and identify themselves. As with your studies you may be trying to hard.
I would suggest you make a list, in your head or even on paper if you want, of the things YOU feel YOU like. Start with sports, then entertainment, clothing, hairstyles, makeup, foods, nature so on and so forth until you have a complete list of things you like to do. Then take that list and under each heading find the things that are the REAL YOU. Meaning say makeup; experiment with different makeup to find YOUR style, same with hair and clothing. you see the point I'm making.
I think you know who you are you just may have lost yourself in the confusion of trying to be all things for all people. Boys, girls and adults will like you for who the real you is, not for who you pretend to be. Kids, teenagers, can identify fakes and pretenders quickly and they tend to be turned off by them. Teenagers are not adults and do not care for pretence, neither do adults but adults will put up with pretence better.
So stop pretending. Find the real you again and find the real you again. Relax and be you; the only person you have to be better than is the person you are today. That is part of a saying I used as a motivational saying for most of my working life. "I must be a better person tomorrow than I am today." "If I can be a better person to morrow than I am today, then I have bees successful"
These are very true motivational statements that I used to motivate myself. It must have worked as I always lead the sales force in sales and had a wonderful career that allowed me to provide very well for my family. So please stop worrying about or trying to be someone else. Just be yourself.
]
More Questions: |