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Lied to my boyfriend while drunk. He knew I lied and is hurt.
First off I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 22, we have been together for 5 years. Me and my boyfriend usually do the webcam chat websites just because its fun. We both do it seperatly and together. Last night I was talking to a guy and that's fine with my boyfriend. My only problem is that I gave the guy my number and we face chatted. That was ok to but apparently my boyfriend was awake and saw everything. He then asked me what I was doing and I stupidly said I wasn't talking to anyone. I don't know why I lied because he is fine with me talking to guys online. Now he's hurt because I lied and I don't know what to do to make it better. I feel horrible for lying and is not like me to lie to him. I never do, I am one of those people that have to tell their boyfriend everything because I have really bad guilt...what can I do to try and make it up to him?
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Well for one: Don't get mad if you say your sorry and he's still hurt or mad at you. Sorry too say this but he has ever right to be upset. You also need to know that thing's will NEVER be the same. Like the other girl said thing are not going back to the way they were. And he's might be looking at you like you cheated on him. And you might not know why you lied but I THINK I do. You were giving an other guy your number. And that might be ok with him but this is still an other GUY not a girl but a guy. So when he asked what you were doing with out thinking you said nothing. I remember when my Mom asked me what I was doing(I was 6 then.) Thou she could see what I was doing I lied and said nothing. Just like you. We both lied because we were scared of getting sean. You lied because you were giving your number to some other guy. What do you do now that I said all that. Say your sorry for ling and mean it. That's all you can really do. Like I said don't get mad if he's still mad at ya. And if he dose not want to be together because he feel's like you were trying to chat on him. Try rally try to be cool about it.
Sorry that's what ling dose.
Wish that everything works out with you and him.
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Hi there,
Trust is a funny thing in the way that once it is damaged it is never quite the same.
I have been the guy in this situation, except the person either wouldn't come clean and denied all wrongdoing or I had to literally prove she was lying, and then she would admit it. Kind of pointless then, isn't it? :-(
You are halfway there I think. At this point, you MUST level with him if you want to keep this relationship. You should tell him what you told us here, and you should do it soon.
Once you come clean, there is one thing that you have to deal with to make this better for both your boyfriend and yourself:
Figure out why you lied.
I know you said you don't know... but there is a reason, and no sane guy is going to accept that answer from a potential cheater (which is how you look to him right now) who gave her number to another guy.
Maybe you aren't happy in your relationship and you want a change, but aren't brave enough to make that change? Maybe you are one of those women who automatically destroys every good relationship she is in because of her own insecurities or feelings of self loathing?
No way for anyone on this end to help you with that.
If you legitimately can't figure out why you did this, or you aren't willing to be honest with yourself about it, then it is time to seek counseling to help you work through your own feelings.
It is hard to be in a healthy relationship if you aren't healthy yourself.
Remember: The only chance you have to fix this is to tell the real truth.
He isn't stupid. He knows you are giving your number out to other guys. That only means a few things:
You don't love him.
You don't want to be with him anymore for some other reason.
... or?
Whatever your reason, he deserves to know right away so that he can decide if he wants to risk being in a relationship with you anymore.
I wish you the best in figuring this out and being honest with both him and yourself.
Good luck!
P.S. May I suggest no more video chatting until you figure out why you did this?
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'Honesty is the BEST policy.'
Well it's good that you're recognizing your mistake. It's better to tell someone up front what's going on rather than not telling them anything at all. I had a situation with my boyfriend that happened and I was thinking of not telling him but then I knew that if I hadn't we probably wouldn't have talked to me ever again. I'm like you with the guilt if I have it, it tears me up inside until I actually tell someone about it. I told him and he was a bit upset but he was glad I told him to his face. For the future just tell him up front and don't lie especially if he knows.
My advice is talk to him seriously and tell him hwo you feel and tell him you won't lie to him again. He might be suspious of you for a little bit but you have to prove to him you won't lie again. Think about what you're going to say to your boyfriend and then finally sit down and talk to him. Apologize and tell him how you really feel.
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