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the man i love is rejecting my sexual advances in the morning. do i stop?
me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months now, and i seriously believe whole heartedly that we are meant to be together
we are two of a kind, and we have fallen for each other so quickly. He treats me absolutely amazingly and always puts me first.
The only thing worrying me right now, is i dont know how to deal with my feelings when he rejects my advances in bed. I lost my virginity to him, and he told me that anytime im in the mood, or i just want to explore his body i can. He told me i could touch him anywhere, anytime and that his body is mine now, as mine is his also.
but the last two times that we've woken up beside each other, and ive been in the mood, my advances got rejected...ive never been rejected sexually before so i felt a little bit upset that he didnt want to have sex with me. again, i feel bad and i would never force him to do something he doesnt feel like doing, but it just stings hearing 'stop' and 'calm yourself down' when i even kiss his neck. Its very difficult for me to turn myself off when im in the mood and i usually get in a bad mood and roll away from him, left awake thinking ive done something wrong for wanting him.
Should i just back off and not show him any affection in the mornings when we wake up?
I just find it hard to control myself with how insanely attracted to him i am, and how much i want to make him feel even half as amazing as he makes me feel.
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Maybe you should take it easy because sometimes too much of a good isn't good. Have you talked to him about how it makes you feel? It's better to speak up and tell him then to just roll over and keep it bottled up inside. If you truly feel like he's a good boyfriend then a good boyfriend will do anything to make you happy. Maybe he was tired? Maybe he's not in the mood? It's not you. Don't go blaming yourself. Sometimes it's just the way it is. Talk to him about it.
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There could be a couple of reasons for why your boy friend is this way. The most common reason is he is just not a morning person. His libido is just not up yet. As strange as it might sound some men can just do not rise to the occasion on demand at times.
To a lesser degree other problems might be body odors, yours or his; bad breath, again yours or his. The need to use the bathroom, some times referred to as morning wood. He is really not aroused but needs to empty his bladder.
There are two important things about being a couple. The most important of these things is communication. Be it sex or anything else in your relationship, especially when living together you have to be able to communicate. You have to learn about each others likes and dislike both in and out of the bedroom.
Example: When my wife and I first met it was at work. I was eating out of the vending machines. She was kind enough to bring an extra sandwich with her one day. It was Bologna with mayonnaise. I prefer mustard on this type of sandwich. Of course I was thankful for the sandwich and ate it without saying anything. Once we evolved into a couple I did tell her of my preference. How was to know if I never said anything. Forty years later I would still be eating these sandwiches with mayonnaise.
It is the same with everything you do as a couple. Sex is one of the most important things we do as a couple. You may prefer sex in the morning; Sunday morning sex is a great way to spend a morning. Your relaxed after a good nights sleep and maybe a night out before. But if one of you is not a morning person then for one of you it's an obligation and not an enjoyable something to look forward to each week.
Just about all the reasons why he would not want to have sex upon waking that I listed are fix able. But you need to know what the problem is so rather than rolling over and getting angry. You need to find out the problem and that requires communication.
The other thing we need as a couple is respect. Respect that other persons right to be wrong, right to some personal privacy and most importantly the right to have his or her own opinions.
If a couple can manage to have good communications and give each other the respect they are do; then you will succeed as a couple. I have a 40 year romance to prove what I have just written.
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