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help fixing a broken relationship!!


Question Posted Thursday September 29 2011, 5:11 pm

18/f
my boyfriend of one year and I had a very close family oriented relationship, if we werent hanging out at my house, we were at his house. the only bad thing is, that even though he's 21, his mother is always in his business. The other day, we started drinking alcohol at his house, and his mom flipped out because she thought he was driving drunk, which he wasnt. and being drunk already, there was no filter to what was coming out of my mouth. he took me home (he was sober, i wasnt) & his mom followed us to my house, and once she was here, she started telling my mom how irresponsible we are, and that he's an alcoholic, which is not true at all, and me of course being drunk, started telling her to get the f*** out of my house, i called her a bitch and yelled at her. When i finally sobered up and realized what i had done, i realized i commited the biggest mistake ever. i need to find a way to mend things with his mom... i already apologized to her but she says her heart and eyes are closed off to me forever. PLEASE, i need help!! i'm not even allowed over his house anymore, and i miss his family :/


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ecivda answered Saturday October 1 2011, 1:43 am:
I agree that she probably needs some time to process things and figure out how to deal with this.
Perhaps writing her a letter might be a little less in her face and perhaps she could understand exactly how and why you are sorry better if there are things perhaps you would like to tell her.

I would explain to her that I miss her family and your son and wish nothing more to be back allowed into their home and into her heart again. I would explain that I understand that calling her a name and yelling at her was innapropriate and that you feel a tremendous amount of regret over having crossed that line while under the influence. I would explain that I am still learning and hope that she finds it in her to forgive me. I would tell her that I was really upset with her telling my mom that we were irresponsible or for saying something that i felt was untrue about my boyfriend. I would stress that despite those feeling there is no reason to call someone else a name and I would tell her that I believe that she did what she did because she cared.
in short, say how you feel, and why you are sorry, apologize and say what you are apologizing for. Ask her to forgive you, and tell her you hope that she has a change of heart because they mean a lot to you and leave it at that. Give her the space and time, and hopefully she will come to forgive you.

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aturtle1 answered Friday September 30 2011, 5:29 pm:
let things be and give his mum sum space for some time.

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soadorable__x3 answered Friday September 30 2011, 11:01 am:
First of all, you didn't mention how long it's been she's talked to you. I think that during situations like this one you just need to let her get over it on her own. You tried apologizing to her and she hasn't forgiven you yet, maybe more time has to pass and she has to get over this on her own.

You probably shouldn't be drinking at 18 years old though, what country do you live in?

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