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Fell in Love with Escort
I know it sounds insane, but escorts are human. I know because I feel in love with one. She has had a tougher life than most of us could imagine and she is very close to putting her escorting past behind her thanks to education. My issue is that I do not trust her. She's been a high end escort for 7 years and I started seeing her first as a client then became her boyfriend. I am by nature a jealous person and I wonder if I'll ever trust her. She has lied to me, but it's always because she's trying to hide her past and protect me from it. How can I ever trust this person? Many thanks for your thoughts on this.
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This all depends on how you look at the situation
In my opinion, I would never date an escort. In order for a relationship to really work with one, You need to some how come to terms with the fact that have an active sex life with other people. Also, If you really want my opinion not only are lies, lies like Adviceman said below but Escorts tend to live a cautious life, They do what they do and they try their best to avoid legal trouble. If you are by nature a jealous person, Then this really might not be the right person for you.
I recommend sitting down with her and talking about your concerns, If you can both come to an agreement that the escorting needs to end that would be the first step towards making the relationship work. It would be unfair if she continued doing what she was doing while you both were in a relationship don't you think? You said she has lied too you, Do you trust that she will be truthful to you? One of my concerns if I were in your shoes would be to whether I was just another guy on the sidelines or not and whether she views you too be a sex icon or a boyfriend. If you both decide to proceed the relationship I recommend relationship counseling, I know it isn't exactly on the top of the charts but it may help you both to be led in the right direction. I would imagine that 7 years of escorting she may be a little rusty on relationships. Second, I would advise her to see a therapist.
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Some people will say a lie is a lie no matter what the circumstances of the lie are. In this particular case if you are fully believing in the fact that she has lied to protect you then I believe there is hope for your relationship.
First: You are already fully knowledgeable of her background and I would believe accepting of it. If so then you and she must agree that from today forward there can be no more lies of protection. You must make her understand that your relationship is solid enough that you can come to terms with anything in her past and what is happening now.
Second: I usually reserve what I am about to say to young people embarking on sexual lives, though it is appropriate for the two of you in your situation. Communication is going to be the key to your successful relationship. Each of you must be trusting of the other to be open with each other and not to hold anything back about your pasts or your future goals.
Just as the best part of sex is the intimacy of exploring each other's bodies and sexual likes and dislikes. Getting to know each other on the higher plain of intimacy and intellect is importantas well even more so.
Third: If you both see this relationship leading to marriage then I would suggest that she put an end date on her escorting business. By doing so this puts a date that her past truly becomes her past and the two of you can start to build a future together.
Should the two of you accomplish the three things I listed the trust you are looking for will come as a natural part of things. We all need to do what we need to do to get by in this world and you said it yourself; escorts are human. I'm sure it wasn't a profession she aspired to in high school. To hold it against her would be wrong.
So put her past behind her. Tell her not to protect you from the truth and start building the relationship you seem to want.
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The fact that you're willing to trust her after everything is a start. It may not happen easily but if you love someone enough or are able to love them unconditionally then I believe one day you'll have a trusting relationship between the both of you. Hopefully she sees how much you're willing to do for her and in turn she'll want to give back to your relationship just as much.
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