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SEX!! what to do!!!!!!!
im so confused!! so me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 9 months. we have been wanting to step our relationship up a few notches. we have been wanting to have sex, but i have worries and questions. suuch as:
- what does it feel like?
- how much does it hurt?
-do you really bleed after??
if you know the answer, tell me! and if theres anything else i should know please feel free to tell me!! thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I found the website, shown at the end, while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible adults. Sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. You are more emotionally mature than a partner would at your same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
Since you have not given your Ages I will add the following:
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always have him use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urges without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. At your present ages you can have all the intimacy of sex using these alternatives without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
My advice is to wait a few more years, let you and your bodies mature a bit more so that you can fully enjoy a sexual relationship. Don’t let pear pressure force you to do something you may not be fully ready for.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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- It didn't really hurt at all. It depends ( ie if you are already loose from masturbation or tampons etc)
- I never bled, but then again I've been dancing and active all my life.
- It just felt warm my first time. But the more you do it, the better it is. Sex gets better. Don't be dissapointed. & use a condom :)
To make it more enjoyable, just a lot of foreplay is essential. It's helpful if he goes down on you. I wouldn't play with him too much, because as soon as he is inside you, he will want to orgasm straight away, so don't tease him too much.
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To make it simple.
-The first time isn't going to feel very nice most likely, though everyone experience is different but typically you will be too nervous to really enjoy it, but when you get used to it it can be a very enjoyable experience :)
-again, depends on the person, sometimes you can do things to make it hurt less like if you do horse riding the chance of it hurting will be less (since the pain comes from breaking the hymen and things like horse riding help make it thinner and break easier)
-and once again, depends. I didn't bleed and neither did some of my friends but equally some had a little bit of blood and some had quite a bit. Still it isn't as bad as a period, most of the time its just like a bad cut and will stop bleeding within minutes :)
As for advice, foreplay is important to make yourself wet, so fingering and things like that, also if you never had that and that hurts I would say spend much longer than usual since fingers are much smaller lol. Also lube will probably help, since being nervous can stop you becoming wet yourself and that will just make it much more painful for you, and don't forget to always use protection (for added protection you can also go on the pill but remember only condoms protect from STD's)
And finally, never do anything you don't feel comfortable with, at the end of the day you can never go back and change your mind so make sure it's what you want and not just something your doing to keep your boyfriend, if he loves you he will wait :) x
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