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Why me out of everyone she could mess with?
Sooooooooo.....I'm a 16 year old girl and have a stupid situation at school. I don't know why I'm letting this stuff get to me, but it really is. I guess I really am just that sensitive.
I was the new kid at school again after moving last year to where I am now sophomore year. I found my small group of friends almost right off the bat which I wasn't expecting. I have three friends, let's call them "Carmen" "Shannon" and "Maria," and there's a friend of my friends', let's call her "Jerkfacegoodfornothingbitch." I don't know why, but my three friends actually like this girl and call her their "friend" even though they know about some of the things she's done to me.
Ok, well the first day of school last year was good except for my immediate awareness of my friends' friend's hatred for me. I greeted her warmly when I was first meeting everybody and introducing myself and she completely ignored me acting as if I wasn't there. I was looking directly at her and was SPEAKING to her and she wasn't listening. I left that at that thinking maybe she was harder to win over than the rest or just having a bad day. Even so, when I sat with all of them at lunch she still acted as if I didn't exist and I've never even met this girl neither had she met me!
Over the course of that year (summing this up here) she's been a real jerk to me, like it's almost obsessive the way she hates me. For one example, I was in the bathroom one day and was finishing up washing my hands. She was standing right in front of the paper towels talking to someone, so I politely asked her to move. She turned around, saw it was me, frowned and gave me a dirty look and told me to never speak to her for anything. Then, she smacked me into the wall and left the bathroom. I was like, "WHAT THE HELL?"
Another example, I was outside walking down the street with my little brother (yes, she lives 4 houses down from me). This girl (jerkfacegoodfornothingbitch) was outside in her front yard playing volley ball with 2 other girls and 3 boys. Me and my lil' bro were minding our own business, and all of a sudden my lil' bro's like, "Watch out!" and before I know it something solid smacks me in the back of the head, hard. Of course I look around to see who did it and what that thing was and I see her glaring at me and her friends laughing.
Final example, I'm in the bathroom again, this time in a stall, and I hear a fight between two girls breaking out. They're calling each other, "bitches" and "slutty hoes" and I could hear bumping like they were beginning to rough each other up. I recognized that girl's voice in there and was thinking about waiting in the stall until the fight blew over or someone came to break them up. Unfortunately, I really needed to get to class. It's a long way to walk and I'd already been late twice before and I didn't want a third because that would be detention and a call home. So, my plan was to quickly leave the stall and rush out before anything too bad happened to them or me.
My plan failed miserably. I tried opening the door, but it wouldn't open all the way because it hit one of the girls in her back blocking me from getting out. I panicked. The girl standing there moved and I opened the door. Everyone stared at me and then jerkfacegoodfornothingbitch began yelling at me about how I keep on popping up into her space where I'm not wanted. I say, "ok" and try to leave, but this girl has her friends block me off. She kept yelling at me about who knows what else because by then I wasn't truly listening. She kept shoving her chest into mine and slapping her hands together in my face telling me to hit her if I had the guts. I couldn't speak because her voice was so loud and overpowering that anything I said got drowned out.
I wouldn't hit her so she pushed me out of the bathroom calling me a "scared-ass pussy-bitch." I went in late to class that day and got the penalty of detention.
This year, she no longer sits with me and my three friends at lunch. She still shoves me into the wall when she gets the chance or pushes me down on the bus, but she doesn't talk to me at all. Sometimes I catch her glaring at me in school or while I'm walking outside by my house. Her attitude is really starting to piss me off. I have no clue why she hates me so much when I've done nothing to her! I'd been nothing but nice to her in the beginning, but this year I'm getting fed up. She's making it impossible for me to truly be happy at school.
I don't want to tell the principle or the deans because if she gets into trouble, then her friends, including her, will hate me even more. They might do more to me than they've already done and I really don't want that to happen. Why does she hate me so much when she doesn't even know me? How do I get her to stop hating me?
P.S: I found out last week that this girl has now also been bugging my little sister at school. She's a freshman this year. This girl also goes to my church and sings in the choir along with my dad. He came home one day to tell me that he'd been paired up to help prepare this girl with some things and she glared at him and asked for a new partner. So, apparently this girl hates me and my family for reasons I don't understand. Oh, and this girl (jerkfacegoodfornothingbitch) is a sophomore this year. I'm a junior! I'm older and SHE'S being mean to ME? I just don't understand.
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17-F
Wow. Situations like this just remind me why I hate everybody. Lullz.
Anyway, people will tell you, "This girl clearly has something wrong in her life blah blah blah she has a bad home life blah blah blah you might have did XYZ without knowing and therefore this is how she is reacting blah blah blah."
The truth? The truth is, people don't need a reason to be mean to you. People will be absolutely bitches to you just because they can be.
But, I've came up with a few possible reasons should could be acting like this towards you, and I'm going to be brutally honest.
1) Your race. Are you a different race than her? What about religion? If you are a different race/religion than you, this could be why she bullies you. While I find this absolutely ridiculous, it happens.
2) She feels threatned. Be real with yourself. Are you more attractive than her? Better body? Better hair/clothes/height/breasts/legs/etc? If you've answered yes to any of these, she might be trying to make herself feel better by bullying you.
3) She feels like her friends have ditched her for you. Now while I was reading your little stories, this was my first thought. She might be thinking, "This new girl has come and taken over my friends." She may feel left out. She might be jealous because they like you more than her. (This is what I got from your story)
These are very possible reasons. I would usually tell people to talk it out, but it's very clear that she won't do that. Being a teenage girl who would be a senior this year if I were stil in school, I understand how highschool girls act. And I'm not going to tell you to tell and adult or talk it out, because that WILL end badly.
Personally, what I would do in this situation is fight back. Not physically, no. But verbally. Don't just say, "Okay." when she talks to you like that. Tell her she's pathetic.
If god forbid she takes a swing at you, DO NOT stand there and let yourself get beat up. Punch back. Stand up for yourself.
Highschool can either be really amazing, or the worst time of your life. People can be great, or extremely childish. There's really no way around it.
If you need any more advice on this situation in the future, feel free to send me a private question. I check this everyday, so I will answer quickly. Or you can send me an email. You can find my email address on my advice column.
Good luck, seriously.
**-EDIT;
I'm so sorry, but your feedback cut off at "Another question though, I don't understand why she also hates my family. She hates m"
Aside from that, you said you are black and white, while she is just black. She could have a very strong hatred towards white people, and therefore that's where her hatred for you comes from even though you're half black. I've noticed people who hate others because of race, it doesn't matter.
It's really sad that girls these days don't know how to act and be classy. Glares and side remarks are extremely childish. And I'm really sorry you have to go through this kind of thing because you seem like a really nice person.
You said that you're slimmer than her, with "natural long, curly ringlets". You sound freakin adorable, and I mean that in the least creepiest way possible. Lullz. With the way society is today, she may be insecure about the way she looks. And she sees you, the new girl, getting more attention than her. That could be making her angry, even to the point of harrassing you.
Like I said before, feel free to send me a private question or an email to finish what you were going to say. (:
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