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how do i just not be a fuck up
well both my grandparents died last week and i missed five days of school... im a freshman and im 15.ive made good grades most of my life without tryin much but now im in advanced and im flunking like 3 classes and handing in blank papers. it seems since then i just go and fuck everything up now.i cant study, cant drum anymore, cant write songs, can barelt tlk to people without pissing them off or saying something stupid. i just dont care anymore and ive lost all confidence and self esteem.. i just all out hate myself. i went to my dad to get a pep talk but all he did was call me lazy and told me i suck so that didnt help any. i cant even look in the mirror without hating what i see look back at me. please help me , if i keep this up i could ruin my life or something. i just want to feel whole again
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
First of all I am sorry about the loss of you grand parents, this is a very hard time for you. You need to give yourself time to grieve. But soon you will feel better. Five days out of school is a long time, you may need to get a tutor to help you back on track. You should go to your school guidance counselor and tell them what has happened and see what kind of help they have to offer you. Right now you can't do all of the things you usually do because you are grieving. It's ok to take some time off and just feel your emotions, but try and stay on track at school as you don't want to fall farther behind. Your Dad sounds like he has some problems of his own, I am sorry you cannot find the love and support that you need in him, this is sad. You need to find someone who treats you with respect, love and care at this time in your life. In time you will feel better, this is all a normal part of grieving. Find someone you can trust and who respects you to talk to. Schools and churches offer these services.
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I don't believe this would happen for no reason. There must have been something you stopped doing or something happened and you don't want to do nothing anymore. Think what you might have done go somewhere relaxing and where you can think in peace and try to remember and if you cant then look for something that inspires you. I think you lost something and you cant find it. dig deep :D
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First my condolences on your the loss of your grand parents.
A psychologist friend of mine tells me there or 5 to 8 stages, depending on which theory one follows, of grief. You are in one of those stages of grief. Everyone griefs differently. If it was your fathers parents that died he to is grieving, just differently than you are.
Counseling will help you with your grieving. Your school guidance counselor may be able to help you. If not you may need to seek private counseling with a therapist trained in grief counseling. There is nothing wrong with seeking help for your grief. it helps to talk things out with someone totally removed from the situation who can see things more clearly than you are right now.
Talk to dad or mom about grief counseling. Once you are over your grief things will return to normal for you. Also talk to you school guidance counselor will help as he or she can arrange make up work for you once you are ready to raise you grades in those classes you are failing. Once the school now's the reason behind your failing the will be very helpful in helping you get your grade(s) up.
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