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My boyfriend can't ejaculate
Again, thank you for responding. I must sound very annoying by now.
Now that you lay the cards out for me that way, I can see how little time he really has and I can see how I made myself come across as some selfish bitch. It's not so much that I am trying to be selfish, it's more that I was just trying to get a second opinion on if being tired is really a reason to not be able to have good sex. I wanted to reassure myself that the problem wasn't me. Admittedly I know that makes me look rather insecure, but I guess any girl would have a small amount of self doubt in this situation.
Also the fact that we only see each other once every other week or so, I used to figure he'd enjoy the chance to have sex after so much work. And I'm leaving for college in two days and won't be able to see him again for Christmas, so I was kind of hoping that our last time together until then would be a successful session of love making. One can only hope his work schedule will improve by December, because he is a landscaper and the work will not be in as high of a demand as it is during the summer.
And yes, his dad is a total ass. He was a physically abusive father and husband when my boyfriend was a little kid, but now he is bigger than his father so the asshole has resorted to mental and verbal abuse. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has never really had a loving family environment.
Thank you for your help and listening.
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You are welcome for the help and the listening. :-)
I understand the twinge of insecurity, and the desire to have a good sendoff.
I mean this is the best possible way:
Telling me about it isn't going to help HIM understand this any better.
May I suggest that you explain your feeling to him, and also explain your new understanding of the situation?
Perhaps it would also be a good idea to apologize four your insensitivity to his situation?
See, telling me any of this, isn't going to help you have a good sendoff. Technically, you may have already waited too long to do any good, but I would talk with him today and ask him if he can re-schedule a day of work or two so he can sleep for 24 hours, then spend the day with you.
I don't know if you are seeing it, but it sounds like you are already resenting the likely outcome of your sendoff... which means if you don't do something about it, you will end up resenting him, and taking your insecurity on the road with you as you head out to college.
While we are on that topic, here is something that if you will only listen to, can save your life:
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING destroys more women's lives completely than the need to sexually satisfy someone else so that they have a sense of self worth.
Please don't go to college and try to make up for the insecurity at home by have sex with other people, secretly just to prove that there isn't anything for you to be insecure about. Please?
Something else that should be part of sex-ed, but isn't: Condoms... the do NOT stop herpes (either type) or HPV (which cause genital warts and cancer) from being spread to you. Not at all. There is also NO test for HPV in men.
Just throwing that out there, in case you weren't aware.
Perhaps you should start an account here, and give back in the subjects you feel ready to help others with. I have a feeling that I will be hearing from you again as you go through college. :-)
Good luck.
P.S. What you said about thinking he would be happy to have sex after so much work? He is, trust me, but you have to be awake to enjoy such things, and he has been turned into a zombie by his schedule. I tell you this so you know that there is nothing wrong with him... ANYONE in his situation would end up in the same boat after working that schedule for only a week. When you approach him about this, please come from a perspective of care, rather than insecurity. It will make a world of difference.
Right now, he feels like he is letting YOU down, when we both know that isn't the reality of the situation here. Odds are he feels like jumping off a bridge when you aren't satisfied, so remember that when you bring this up, or you will make things much worse.
P.P.S. Man that was some post script, wasn't it? :-)
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