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Guys after a certain age - always pressure for sex?
I'm 23/female. I got out of a serious long term relationship recently, and am trying to date, but take things slowly. I don't want to have sex till I'm serious about someone, and I really don't think this is such an antiquated concept
I am occasionally somewhat naieve about men, as I'm bisexual and mostly dated one woman for the first part of my life, and then one guy for a long time.
What I want to know, is it natural for all guys to try and push for sex?
I went on a few dates with a couple different people, and even after I said "We arent going to have sex and I don't want to at this point" as we were kissing, they still try and push it in that direction. I slept with neither, obviously, but both situations got a little out of control, from my perspective of things.
Does it make a guy a jerk to push for that? Or is it just natural? I really don't want to have sex for the first few months of dating.
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Hi 23 this is a comman problem for a lot of guys especially the younger ones .There is nice guys out there that do not push once they have been told NO .When i was younger and probably immature i was probably a bit of a pusher a lady would say no and i would still beg and try hard .Sometimes the woman would come across and sometimes they would not change their mind .Which does happen so guys will still try hoping to change your mind .Now that im older and more mature if a lady said no to me i accept this straight away because to me respect is everything .No means No .What you can do as a female if you dont want them to keep trying after you have said no is make sure your very assertive and direct to the point say their name.. example Garry i said no Iam not that type of girl and if i ever decide i will let you know in the mean time i want you to stop and cease and then make sure they answer you that is important that you get them to confirm it by saying okay or yes .If they winge or go oh bloody hell come on .Dont cop it look at them make them look at you and say do you understand and make them say yes .They will respect you more later for it and if the relationship does go further it will be built on respect its a good start to any relationship .And once you have made yourself clear and they answer and if they still do it then they dont respect you so walk away .Boys and men need to be taught sometimes we can be buggers but at the end of the day respect for each other
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I'm in a similar situation- 20, got out of a long-term relationship, have been dating for a year and found that pretty much every guy I've gone out with (with the exception of the more 'nerdy' guys) just wants to hook up. A lot of guys our age just really need to grow up. Don't give up though, the nice guys are still out there, just harder to find.
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the dude's a jerk. any dude over the age of 22 that pushes for sex like that is a douche. yeah, I am making an exception for younger guys because they're jacked with hormones and are still figuring out 1-what to do and 2- how far they can push the issue and get away with it. any guy older than that is either going to respect your wishes, or prove himself to be a selfish piece of shit. Me personally, I just don't bring up the issue, I let the girl I'm dating broach the subject. to be honest with you, I see no point in pressuring a girl, because if it does turn into a long term thing,it's just a matter of time, and I am a very patient man. Or, look at it this way, say I nail a chick on the first date, knock her up, then discover that I absolutely HATE HER SOUL. That's an 19-years-to-life prison sentence.
enough of that tangent- Bottom line, thats not normal, nor is it socially acceptable.
-Gunner
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Yes, it makes them jerks.
Rape is a natural. Let's be honest - we are all the descendants of rapists. For a long time in human history, rape was a common way for different human cultures and tribes to interact. They have something you want? Get your buddies together and kill the men, rape the women.
Murder is also natural; along with cancer and bacteria that slowly eats you alive. Nature is a bitch. A lot of what is ‘natural’ is absolutely unethical and not okay.
Doesn't matter if it's 'natural' for men to desire and pursue sex. It's not acceptable behaviour, and you don't have to accept it. Men are not useless toddlers who cannot control themselves. They are adults who can be fairly expected to hear what you say, and respect it.
It's never a bad idea to look at your own behaviour and think of how you can be clearer in what you are communicating. Saying "I won’t have sex with you." but it might help you to weed out the assholes a bit better if you are a bit more specific about your boundaries. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't see oral sex as sex and might genuinely not get the full extent of your meaning. Be a bit more precise, like "I will not have sex with you, and no clothing is coming off, at all." might help.
The one thing you can be certain of is that these guys are not the one for you. Tell them they are behaving like jerks, leave or kick them out, and move on.
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