|
humorist-workshop
Not sure which category... school and family relationships
I don't think my family really cares about my needs when it comes to academics. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have tried talking to them. I have tried yelling at them when talking didn't work. I tried tears. I tried making my point every which way possible from honey to vinegar and I don't know what else to do. Two of my cousins have already graduated from college. One of them is in medical school. When they were in school, people weren't even allowed to call the house because they were "studying." The one in medical school relocated up state because that's where he was accepted. His younger brother, who is a year younger than me (i'm 20, he's 19) recently had to go to the hospital. They didn't even call him where he was to tell him what had happened! because he was... "studying" and they didn't want to disturb him during exams. That's an emergency and they didn't even tell him because he's in medical school and they wouldn't want to ruin anything for the doctor in the family.
I have two years left of college. Next year, I apply to grad school or law school. I have asked my family to get me a desk for my room because I REALLY need it. I am in five school organizations, I have a job, and I really need a desk. I've been asking for two years.. and I still don't have one. I don't have the money to get one myself either. They told me that they were going to make me an office somewhere in the house... they've been saying that for three years. My family has also decided that my room is a storage room. They have thrown all these clothes on the bed and told me not to put them anywhere else because there was nowhere else to put them. I cannot study anywhere in the house after 7pm because the TVs are always on and very loud. The library by my house closes at 9. So, I decided that I would use the resources that were available to me. I would use the library at my school. But, my mom doesn't want me wandering around school after a certain time because it gets dark and there was a murder not that long ago at night and there's also not that many people here, so I understand her concern. I don't want to be here at night either. But, that was the only resource I had. She will just keep calling and calling or she'll come pick me up in another car because she doesn't want to be worried about me.
I don't get the impression that they're very proud of me or that they understand the importance of WHY I'm in all these organizations. They look good on my resume. They will help me with grad school. I work because I want to and it's extra money for me. But, everything else is what is going to get me where I want to be. I also do it because I'm passionate about certain causes. I don't sit around and lounge all day. I need a place to go where I'm going to feel relaxed and concentrate. No one is giving me the same respect that other people in my family had. I just need a place to study. I need that respect from them. They may not be like me, but I need their respect.
How do I get it? PS I have been "angel daughter." I don't go out drinking, clubbing, or anything like that. Obviously, on occasion, I'm a normal person and I go out. But, I'm not like one of those daughters you are always worrying about. Yet, they find a way to worry. The one night I do go somewhere like that, I will have 37 missed calls. But, that's just a side not. I need to know what to do about the studying.
Thanks
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
obviously your parents and your cousins parents have different views on the need for privacy and a quiet place to study.
The only advise I can offer here is you consider moving into a dorm room or sorority house. I would expect your parents to object and when they do you have one final opportunity to ASK for what you need in order for you to get what you need.
I assume you parents are funding all or part of the cost of your education. Male sure when you TALK with them that you emphasis you are only trying to get the most out of what they are paying for. That their lack of respect for your needs is wasting is in essence causing you to wast some of their money.
If none of this talking works your only alternatives is a dorm room or find someone to share an apartment with.
As to moms concern for your safety and her constant calling to check up on you. There is not much you can do then what you are doing now. Parents will always be concerned for their children's welfare. You might consider answering her calls each time you change a location, just for your own safety, other than that you will not change your mother.
]
More Questions: |