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What does he want from me?
I just want to know where i stand with this guy.
A guy that I work with has been flirtatious with me for like 2 months now. We've hung out outside of work like twice, but hes been giving me really mixed signals. For example, he will hardcore flirt with me and then act like I don't really exist for a short time.
I was so close to never thinking about him again when today we had lunch breaks at the same time and he said he was going to go home to eat and asked me to go with him, so I went to his house with him.
I llike him but he has a girlfriend, and they have a 1 year old son together. I don't want to be involved with him if he's already dating someone else, and obviously I don't want to break up his relationship with the mother of his child. A few times when we have been flirting I bring up that he has a girlfriend- I told him not to talk to me in such a flirty way unless he plans to break up with her, and I told him I dont want them to break up if they're happy together, but in response to that he said they aren't happy and that they've been on and off for almost 5 years now.
I like him, as a person whether we flirt or not...id like to be his friend but I find it difficult because every time I try to think of him as just a friend, he comes on strong with the flirting again.
And since he does act like hes interested in me sometimes, I find myself thinking about him more than I should..and I know it's wrong because he has a gf and a baby - not to mention his attention towards me is inconsistent.
I really love flirting with him and imagining the possibility of having him for myself... But I don't want anyone to get hurt, especially his girlfriend...or myself.
If he doesn't like me, then why does he want to hang out and treat me like he's interested in me? And if he just wants to be friends....why can't he act like we're strictly platonic? Should I tell him how I feel about him? What does he want from me???
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Many taken guys are flirtatious with girls but mean nothing by it. it's just their humour, having a bit of fun. However, this does not seem to be the case with your co-worker.
You were completely right in telling him you dont want to get involved when he's taken and a child is involved. He's acting irresponsibly. Whether he wants to risk his relationship with his partner and kid is entirely his call but he has no right putting that on you.
even though you've told him not to be so flirtatious, I suggest you tell him again, clearly and bluntly. When he does it again tell him straight up you won't stand for that behaviour while he's with someone else and if he continues to do so you will terminate leisurely time with him. You are happy to be friends with him but you will not tolerate that. Put it to him and make sure he knows youre serious.
If he treats you badly because of it, he's clearly not a decent guy. You shouldnt be punished for his inappropriate behaviour and you having class and morals.
You're doing the right thing. The last thing you want to do is let your feelings for him escalate when he's unavailable. It's a platonic relationship and thats it. No flirting.
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Because of the fact that he has a kid,. and had been on and off with this chick for the past 5 years is kinda iffy...
The way i see it is,. Yes he might like you
or he could be leading you on
but if you two do start dating you
a. have to realize this kid will be apart of your lives for ever.
b. What if the positions were switched what if u were his girlfriend and she was they girl he hangs out with and flirts with?
If he's not clear about what he wants then he might be trying to get his cake*gf and baby* and eat it too.. *you* i would be very careful around this situation
you might be better to ask him hey whats going on and were do we stand.
hope this helps:)
~Jasmine*
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