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Pregnancy confusion.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We've been very happy. We each have our own child. I have a daughter, he has a son. Recently I took a few home pregnancy tests, they all came back positive, and tomorrow I'm going to get blood tests and blah blah hospital pregnancy testing crap. I already know that I'm pregnant, I just have to do that crap for insurance reasons. Well, my boyfriend use to tell me he would be happy to have a child with me. But as time went on, we both agreed we were fine with the children we already have. So after time he was "I don't want anymore kids" and blah blah. I was wanting a way or some kind of advice on how to "break the news" to him. And yes, I know the stupid crap "If you didn't want to have kids then you should have done this" Well I did do this and that. Birth Control Pills, Spermicides, the pull out method, and well.. Guess what? Yeah, so don't give me that stupid "if you didn't want one, you should of..." BLAAAH I don't care. Ok? I just want simple and straight to the point advice. He's of course dominant and I'm the submissive type. SO I suppose help from a dominant male/female in a relationship would be most appreciated.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
There is an old saying; "It takes two to Tango". He had the fun and knew that pregnancy is always a possibility even with the best birth control.
The point of the matter is whether he wants a child or not, whether he is dominant or submissive is not the issue. The issue is the two of you have created another life and he has certain responsibilities for that life.
The best thing to do is to find a proper time to tell, probably after the two children you have are in bed. Then just tell him that you are having his baby. My feeling is after being initially shocked at the news he will most likely be over joyed.
If his reaction is not one you would hope for and he makes demands that you cannot comply with. Then the first thing you must do is seek out a good family practice lawyer to make sure the courts order him to live up to his responsibilities to you and his child.
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I've been with my girlfriend for a year now. No kids involved. But I would suppose if I was in your situation, as well as anyone in general. The only real way to tell someone is to just be up front at the right time and say it. As sad as it is to say I don't feel that theirs any way to break the news to make the outcome a good one. The decision on whether this will be good or bad news ultimately lies with him. If he loves you as much as you love him and I can tell you do, then he'll put aside what he said and base his happiness on your child together strictly on his love for you. Making a sacrifice for the outcome of both you and his decision. As brief as it gets. You both were adult enough to lay down and have a kid, if he's a man, and he truly loves you. You'll see the positive outcome of this that I know you want so bad.
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Just fucking tell him.
You are over thinking it. Don't worry about him being 'dominant'. He chooses to have sex with you - he is not a moron - he knew the risks involved with that. One of them is pregnancy. It's not your fault. It's not something you can apologize for.
"I don't want any more kids" is a nice opinion, but it doesn't change the physical reality of human bodies anymore than "I don't want to have cancer, or a broken leg, or blue eyes!" is going to change the physical reality here.
You are obviously capable of telling people here online not to treat you like crap and say "Blah Blah Blah don't have sex!" Take that power of stating the fucking obvious and tell your boyfriend "Guess what. We're pregnant!”
And yeah - he’ll be a bit upset and shocked. YOU were probably a bit upset and shocked when you found out. The only difference there is that you get to have your initial reaction privately, and the male in the relationship has to look you in the eye with his first reaction to the news. You know it might not be positive, give him a few seconds, or a few minutes, to have a genuine - albeit respectful and non-violent - response to the news.
If he uses his ‘dominant’ attitude to be a dickwad and blame you or judge you for this fact, put him in his place. Tell him what he all ready knows: Birth Control isn’t 100%, and if he thinks he can blame you for this then he’s a disrespectful asshole who obviously doesn’t know you very well.
You may be submismive, but you aren’t stupid. You know what is right and what is true. You are pregnant. That’s true. He needs to know. That’s right. Take it from there.
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