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Heartbroken
Okay, so I started dating this kid september of my senior year(almost 2 years ago) I never thought i'd feel the way I do about him especially after all we've been through. I didnt know then that he was involved in pills, and when I found out I left for a little but then eventually came back when he was on one of his sober binges. I left for college after we were together for almost a year and he stayed at home. He was using but would call me everynight and so I didn't even expect it. He then moved 2 hours away from my college instead of the normal 7 hours and I thought everything would get better. But then almost 2 months after moving into his apartment there he relapsed and had to get his stomach pumped(this was in feb)I felt like sucha dumb person but I loved him so much I let way too many things slide. Basically feb to may was a million back and forths where we would break up and get back together and he was on and off of drugs every other week. Finally I left for the longest amount of time I ever have. I didnt try calling or anything, I just broke it off and ignored everything. It was really hard and I constantly worried about him getting with someone else and relapsing and stuff. After 3 weeks of no talking, on his birthday he sent me a message saying last year on his birthday was the best of his life because it was just me and him in a hotel secluded from the rest of the world. We slowly began talking again, then hanging out, then eventually we were back into sex again. He's been clean since may off of everything (including weed) and its like hes a whole different person. It makes me so much more happy being with him like this but he is moving a few states away. We arent together and i dont think my family or friends would be happy if they knew we were having sex. Now that I am all moved in up at college, Its like I want more attention, he hasn't called me (although I moved in 2 days ago) and I always have to text him. Hes always been bad with the phone but I really wish he'd make more of an effort. Last night I texted him Heyy and he never responded. He always says that he wants to marry me one day and that he loves me so much. I really believe him and I really do love him. I dont know what to do to make him realize I can leave, like I want him to treat me better and act like he talks. But I dont want to leave and have him get someone else. Please help me, he may just be bad with the phone but I really want him to care more.
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From personal experience I go through the same thing with my girlfriend. She also says that she's bad with the phone and doesn't prefer texting but instead calling and talking. And this question actually surprised me a bit because you mentioned how you two had the worst argument ever and went 3 weeks without talking. Just recently 3 days ago she went 2 weeks without talking to me in what we both consider our worst argument and she missed my birthday because of it. I know exactly how you feel. And once again from personal experience I can say this. You can always find someone new, that opportunity comes and goes everyday, but the real question you ask yourself is "is it worth it?" .. To find someone new that can easily hurt you in the blink of an eye when you know you had someone good already. I ask myself that question and I've decided that it wasn't worth it to move on and I was right. If I were you, I would tell him to apply more of an effort, that its something you need to feel comfortable knowing. And if he loves you like I'm sure he does then he'll make that change for you. And you'll realize that it wasn't worth it to move on either. Just give it time, and if no change comes, then you give him that final ultimatum. And if he still does not change, then maybe your best interest is to find love elsewhere. Life is too short to wait for someone else to correct their defects, when they're ready to they will on their own, and when that happens, then you can see what can become of you two.
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Well,
I would say get him to talk about why he started on the drugs in the first place. Not in a demanding way but in a relaxed manner. It is obvious that both of you care about each other. Take it easy i mean take one step at a time and you could try seeing someone who can help the both of you esecially him.
Take care.
God loves everybody.
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