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moving into college troubles
So when I go to college on the 24th, my bf was planning on coming down to help out with the move in and help me set up my internet considering I can't deal with that techy stuff haha. So my dad was said I need to find someone who can help me with that, and I said oh (bf name)is really techy he's going to help me. And my dad immediately said NO. he refuses to let him come down to help me move in. And I'm stuck on what to do. I ask why and he says its bc he made the decision that's no. I don't know how to even begin to tell my bf, and it breaks my heart that my dad is controlling who is there for me on move in day. But he's so adamant about it. What would you do? What should I do? I'm so pissed at him and its just ridiculous. He tells me he plans on making at least 3 surprise visits a year and he "will" find out if my bf comes to visit and he's not picking me up for me to see my friends. Its because he doesn't want me to have "any distractions" but he's the biggest control freak. I try to talk to him about it but we just fight; even if the convo starts civilly it never ends well.help? Sorry this is so long. For extra info: my bf and I have been dating for almost 7 months and are pretty serious. And I'm almost 19f. He's the same age and going to college too but commuting. My college is about 1 hour away from my family and his.
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hey so i'm going to college too. I kind understand where your dad is coming from. Most parents are very clingy when its time for their child to move out and start their own life. My parents aren't as clingy as yours, thank god haha. But they're slowly realizing that I need to be on my own. Your dad hasn't realized that yet and you need to make him know that.
There are some things that I'd understand.. like having your dad come visit you once in a while. But honestly.. having him tell you that your boyfriend can't help you move in... thats not a good thing. Unless you want this to continue on.. you need to break the news to your dad and just say that you're an adult and you need to make decisions for yourself. Otherwise, how are you supposed to learn new things and have new experiences?
I guess there's not much you can do besides bitch at your dad for it and tell him you're an adult and can make your own decisions, especially minuscule ones like having your boyfriend help you with something.
Oh and 1 more thing- think about what you're going to say before you say it. You don't want to say something you'll regret. And always remember- your dad loves you. he's doing what he thinks is best for you and he obviously cares about you. There are some people out there whose parents literally shove them out of the house and never see or speak to them again. Be grateful that you have a parent who cares about you.. Don't be too harsh on him, but make him realize that you're growing up and its time for him to let go.
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Your dad is an idiot. You're an adult. TIME TO CUT THE CORD DAD!
If you're paying for your own education I would tell dad to piss off. If he's paying then you're kinda stuck. I think you're boyfriend will understand if you tell him your dad will pitch a fit like a bitch.
The only blessing in this is that you aren't going to be around dad now on a daily basis. That will make you a mentally healthier human being. You need to look into getting a job to pay your own bills so you don't need his support if you want to be fully independent, though. That will make your studies a harder slog, unfortunately.
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