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What should I do? Your opinion.
18/f
I will try to be straightforward here. Mine and my boyfriend's relationship has been on the rocks for a while. I seem to put a lot of effort into it, and he barely does. Friend, girlfriend, or whatnot... He treats me differently from other people. He seems to get annoyed of me, but yet I make him happy. He seems to put his stress out on me and doesn't notice it and gets annoyed at every little thing I do.
He's the oldest out of 5 siblings, raised by traditional parents who expect him to set a good example to his siblings, heavily depended on his family, works full time to save money for his tuition since he's transferring over to a university and is moving out of the house, not just that he's planning to be a surgeon so he's focused on school.
Recently, I asked about how he felt since he seemed to be very distant from me. He said that he's been busy with work. And that he does still love me, but just not as much. So we have this scale that we use a "like" and a "love" scale that we usually say, just to see where we stand about our feelings for each other. Both the like and love scale is scaled from 1 - 10 each and are basically connected to each other. He said his love scale was at 1, and his like scale was at 3. Which is really bad. He said that lately he's only been thinking about is medicine and studying.
I notice that whenever he senses that I'm moving on, he gets a bit worried but his mind is still set on school. Others think he's taking me for granted because he knows that I would always be there waiting for him.
So my questions are, what should I do at this point? How does that work out when he says that he likes me a little, but also loves me a bit as well? Do you think that he actually does love me he just doesn't notice it because he's so stressed out and he think I'm always going to be here so he doesn't really think about it?
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well.. you can is wait.. and LET HIM COME TO YOU! not you sitting there waiting for HIM and waiting to be there for him,LET HIM DO THE WORK FOR ONCE!
likes a little but loves me a bit as well? hmmm thats a really odd answer... its not a good one either.. be careful thats like saying yeah I like her a bit.. love her a bit... dont be foolish this guy doesnt know and hes confused... hes drained out and if he was really in love with you he wouldnt be saying a ''bit''...
okay..just because a guy is stressed with work and school and family.. does not mean to go and ignore you and say he doesnt think about you.. obviously he is putting things in front of you and forgetting about you.. plus your his girlfriend he should be going to you for help on what to do... I find it dumb that he puts you on the line.. to me it feels like a vibe of you being a backup...
be careful with this guy.. he doesn't seem the best
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Here is the first thing you wrote: "I seem to put a lot of effort into it, and he barely does."
Relationships take 2 to work out not 1, From the sound of it your boyfriend puts himself and school before his relationship. I'm not going to say that is wrong but he seems to not have any time to work around a busy schedule. It is not fair to keep someone around if a person can not make time to see them and spend time with them once in a while. This is what he is doing. I suggest you sit down and discuss how you feel with him and tell him what you told us. Nobody is constantly busy studying to the point where they don't have an hour to spare. If he isn't willing to make time for you and your relationship then your best bet is too move on and meet someone else who is more available and convenience for you rather than hung up on school work to the point where that is all they do. You can't make a relationship work when it just one trying, It doesn't work that way.
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Hey there :)
Okay from what you said it seems like your boyfriend is definitely taking on way too much in life at the moment.
Its hard trying to balance work school and a girlfriend but your boyfriend is going to become a surgeon which is even more taxing and his family depend on him.
I think he does love you but is most definitely taking you for granted. I don't think he realizes it though. Still do you want to be that girl who sits around and puts her life on hold for a guy?
I know you love him but you have a life and goals too.
Think about it studying to be a surgeon is hard verry hard.Very unsociable hours too and it only gets worse when you are qualified. Do you want to remain in a relationship where you constantly have to bear the brunt of his frustrations..? sure we all do it and dont mind doing it for the people we love but there is a limit.
He needs a reality check and fast. He either wants to be with you and make a genuine effort or he wants to focus on his studies. With the way he is acting he cant have both. If he was willing to find time for you and treat you like you deserve to be treated I would say fair enough but he doesn't
Sit him down tell him you can't take this anymore you won't be made feel like a punching bag either he wants you in his life or he doesn't because your not going to sit around and be his security blank it.
My advice would be to walk away. To me it does not seem worth it.
Lead your own life find someone who has the time and not just likes you little and loves you a bit..but likes you a lot and is madly in love with you.
don't waste your energy anymore..
Maybe if you tell him your leaving he might wake up and realize and promise to change.. but ask yourself is it too late? will he really?
I hope this helps and whatever decision you make I hope it works out..of course you don't have to go with what I say just offering my advice :)
feel free to inbox me with anymore questions
Much <3
Jess 17/f
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