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Can't stop thinking about pregnancy
Hey there :D I'm 19/f.
I've been with my bf for almost 4 years, and we are best friends, totally in love, etc. So that doesn't really help my problem.
I can't stop thinking about having a baby. Thinking about it, looking up names, calculating costs... it's all like a guilty pleasure for me; because I know I am too young and should finish college and get married first. But it's like... this obsession that I have. I am also pretty mature for my age and my mom thinks that I am really modest, so she doesn't mind saying all the time how she can't wait for grandchildren-because she thinks that I would never even think about it till I'm older-but that just fans the flames for me. Even though my bf and I use condoms and BC, EVERY TIME we have sex I get all anxious and nervous thinking that... what if... and then when the idea of being pregnant sticks in my head I get extremely excited and happy about it and have to take like two pregnancy tests to show that I'm not, and then I'm like.. half relieved and half sad. I do worry a lot about what other people would say about me, and them being super disappointed in me though. I'm so confused by what my body is telling me!!! Is there any way to take my mind off of this? It's really bothering my bf. haha. Oh and another question, not long ago I was babysitting my aunt's baby and I was carrying her down the street, and I got tons of bad looks. Is it that uncommon to see a 19/20 year old with a baby? Do you automatically think they are irresponsible people? That's the vibe I got. Thanks :D and sorry, I didn't mean to write a whole book.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
You have been in a relationship for a long time, and if you consider him to be your life partner, then it is normal for you to consider the next step in your lives which could be a baby.
A lot of women get baby crazy at some point in their lives. But you have to put your realistic priorities first over this. Since you are only 19, you have years before you need to worry about having kids. Enjoy this freedom, because once you have kids it's a whole new responsibility.
And people may see you with a baby and make assumptions that you had unprotected sex and are a mother out of wedlock. Teen mothers often get a bad stigma for being irresponsible and careless.
I would do more babysitting to fulfill your baby desire for the time being, and focus on your studies/job, etc. It is fun to fantasize though, but keep the thoughts to yourself because it may scare your boyfriend away!
Good luck,
-Abby
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It isn't about whether you think you are mature enough to have a child, It is about whether you are mentally,physically and most of all financially ready. Babies require diapers, clothes, food, medical care etc. Are you independent? Do you and your boyfriend both have full time jobs that pay more than $8.00 an hour? Are you able to provide for yourself on your own? If this is a no you are not ready. You stated that you are in college, Honestly I would get yourself through college first before thinking about having a child. Once you have a baby the child becomes all about them and not you. That baby will drain you out and stress you even more than you would be now. You want a baby out of impulse, Not because you really feel you are both able to provide for one. I would wait until you are both financially ready and that you are out of college. It is unfair to bring a child into this world out of selfishness. Stop looking up names and calculating things, Focus on YOU first. Once you are able to handle being independent and you are financially stable enough to provide for a child THEN you talk about having a child but right now you are not ready. You may see people with children but I will tell you one thing........Not all of them were smart and MOST of them are likely having a hard time. Wait a few years then discuss it over
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