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I want to kill myself
Long story short:
I'm an 18 year old Irish guy, my life has gone to hell in the past 5-6 months, I fathered a secret child with my now ex girlfriend in February, told absolutly nobody! The baby died the following day, still nobody knows. Our relationship hit rock bottom dramatically after that, things got violent (not physically though) and in April my girlfriend stole €700 from my mother so all hell broke loose and I was banned from anything got to do with her. She became ill soon after and said she could die until one day she just cut contact with me alltogether. I seriously thought she died but now 2 months later she contacted me to let me know she's pregnant again, my whole family are now involved and all believe she is a crazy bitch full of lies, her life has been destroyed by my cowardness and selfishness yet I don't have the balls to tell anybody as the lies have gone on so long that the consequences would be huge and terrible. She is kinda pyscho but i love and hate her yet I feel I've done her wrong big time and i think i am a very evil person but i don't mean to be. I just make bad choices. Now i want to kill myself just to escape the whole ordeal.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Health?
Don't kill yourself for one. Don't die with regrets. What happened has happened unless we create a time machine you should move on. If you did do wrong I wouldn't worry about it too much. Apologize and confess to it. Think - What more could you have done at this point? If it is your child take care of it. Bottom line don't kill yourself about the past. The past is gone. You have a future ahead.
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Killing yourself isn't the answer. Thatll only make things worse. Everybody makes mistakes. Remember, things get worse right before it gets better. Just give it time. It'll work itself out.
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You have said it yourself; you have made some bad choices. Making bad choices is something we all do and is no reason to kill yourself.
Your carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders not all of it yours to carry or carry alone. I would be extremely surprise if all of what is happening here did not have some type of depressing effect on you.Still there is nothing here that can't be fixed with help of people who can help you see things more clearly.
I believe counseling from a qualified therapist will help you get through what is troubling you. The best way to get the help you need is to either go to the nearest hospital emergency room or if you feel like you may hurt your self dial 999 or 1q12 which ever is the correct number for where you live and the proper emergency service will be sent to help you. If you are not in danger you should do the following:
I'm guessing you live in Ireland. If so please click on the first link below for some phone numbers you can call for help. If you do not live in Ireland go to the second link and pick the country you do live in to find phone numbers for people to help you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Please call for help. Things are not as bad as you think they may be. In your situation I see nothing that cannot be resolved. You are not a bad person. You are a young guy who made some bad choices.
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Killing yourself and running away from your problems isn't going to solve anything at all. If you feel this much weight on your shoulders then the best thing in the world would to be to start with therapy. The death of a child is a load of baggage to be carrying around on your own and something as seeing a therapist can help you cope properly. If your mother wants nothing to do with you then so be it, You are 18 years old now and you are old enough to make your own choices on your own. Honestly, I don't have a father in my life. Sometimes things just go the way we don't want them too but we get through it, I certainly did. I put myself through college and did what I had to do in my life. You are overwhelmed and possibly full of guilt but it is never to late to make changes and turn things around. The first thing I would do is to set a goal for yourself if you don't have a place of your own yet, Then set a goal to make that happen. Things can turn around but YOU have to make that happen and you can do it.
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Dont kill yourself... You are not an evil person at the time you did what you thought was right... tell them about the baby if you feel its what you need t do... you dont have to if it is going to hurt you this badly... if this girl is pregnant that be there for your baby but if she is not then I think it is best to leave her in the past and stay away from her.... you deserve better... if she is making you feel like this then she is not the right one for you ... and remember you dont have to be in a relationship with a girl just because she is the mother of your child good luck and best wishes
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