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I'm torn between my ex and the new guy.
Ok, so my exboyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for about 2 1/2 months. Everything was going great! Since it was long distance, our relationship mostly consisted of texting and a phone call here or there. Well, he got a job and became busy, but it wasn't a big deal because we still talked at least once a day. So anyways, one day out of no where he just breaks up with me just like that. (this was about 6 weeks ago). He said it was because he was just too busy and didn't think it was fair to me, even though I assured him that I was willing to deal with it because we had sucha a great relationship. Long story short, that didn't help. Later I found out that he really broke up with me for another girl (shady, right?). So they were together a day after he left me, and it only lasted a couple days. It was literally the hardest break up I have ever went through. I eventually dealt with it and forgave him and moved on. Now, I have been hanging out with a guy that lives in the next town over. We aren't "technically" in a relationship, but it's pretty much like we are. We've kissed and hang out several times a week, etc. But now, recently, my ex has been talking to me like we used to, and he's asking me to come and visit him and all this stuff. I thought I was over this guy and now, my feelings for him are all flooding right back in. I am just in desperate need for advice. I really appreciate it!
I'm 19 and a female, not that it makes much of a difference, lol.
(sorry it's so long)
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alright. I've been in your shoes not too long ago. I made the absolute WORST mistake.. so here's what NOT to do..
Don't lead them on. That was my mistake. I liked 2 guys and I didn't want to make a decision. I felt like everything would be fine if I just flirted with both of them (i thought they wouldn't find out about the other guy, but they eventually did) and all hell broke loose. Both of them got pissed at me and told me to pick 1. I was so overwhelmed and stressed, I had no idea what to do. It got so bad that the 2 guys threatened to kill the other.
soo yeah... don't lead them on. Here's what you need to do. stop talking to both of them for 1 week. Put your phone away, get off facebook and/or twitter. and just focus on yourself. Think about what YOU want. Take 1 whole day and just think about your feelings. Think about your ex and how you felt when you dated. then think about how would you feel if you got back together. would you still trust him? would you feel the same way? or would things change? Then think about your other friend. How much do you like him? Do you want to start fresh and just begin something new with a guy? (NOTE- if you get back with your ex, you must realize that he might be holding grudges and if you guys fight, it will get more complicated because there's more issues you guys dealt with)
After a week of thinking by yourself, make a decision. It's not necessarily who you love more... its more about who are you better with? In my case- I thought i loved the other guy more.. but then realized that I wouldn't be happy with him. I would change for the worse if i stayed with him. So I eventually picked the other guy and maybe it wasn't love at first sight.. but I realized I was happier and better off with him. then eventually i fell in love with him haha.
If you can't make a decision, then I suggest picking neither and just moving on with your life. good luck and inbox me if you need more help!
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Long distance relationships are notoriously difficult to maintain, especially when you are so young and in need of physical contact. You've both already proven that by seeking company elsewhere. Your ex did the honest thing by breaking up with you as soon as someone else came along and you should do the same. Maybe one day when you live closer to each other and there are no other people involved, you can reconnect with him.
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