|
Can I be neutral in life, or do I have to take sides now that I am in college?
In the start of college term, I was really nervous and found it difficult to find friends at first. However, I soon enough made friends with a classmte 8 years older than me. It wasn't long till I knew nearly everyone in the class and made new friends, successfully slotting in college life. However, soon I found that I had much more common things to talk about with friends my age rather than my 8 years older mate who enjoyed talking bout sex quiete frequently. Because of this class leader among girls, which I became close friends with,disliked my older friend and soon enough I found myself in a rather awkward position between to opposing friends who hated each other. Bitchiness and cruelity against each other seemed unstoppable and ever growing and it was a difficult and appearantly impossible task to keep neutral and stay good friends with both of them. In one of the parties, where I stayed at my class leaders house I quite drunk and when my older friend was expecting me at bar with her group of friends I wasn't able to go. Now by all means, my older friend is not quiete my friend anymore and thinks I have taken sides. Recently one of my friends suggested that she might be jelous over my boyfriend who is older than me and closer to her age. I do not know what to believe and I fear I have actually let my old friend down, however I still want to be friends..Is it possible tobe neutral in life or is it true that life is about taking sides? All this bizzare situation makes me envy guys who don't spend time in gossip and intrigues. Thank you for reading this messy story. I would appreciate your advice and thoughts bout this.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hun, you aren't neutral about this!
You don't like your older friend that much. You also don't like how catty any of your friends are being. That ISN'T neutral. You have an opinion and you have feelings about the situation. You can't go through life pretending you don't.
It's not always about 'taking sides' it's about having a brain and having an opinion and likes and dislikes, and not being able to pretend you don't.
So what do you do? You tell all your friends to cut it the fuck out. It's one thing not to like another person; it's another to be a bitch. If you want to be friends with your older friend, then you apologise for letting her down (‘cause you did) and you tell her that even though you aren’t as close as you were and probably won’t that close again, you still want to be her friend. You tell your other friends that it is okay if they don’t like her - but that you don’t want to hear them bitch and talk shit.
It’s not that complicated - but instead of trying to pretend to be neutral, stand up for what you want and believe. You believe they are behaving badly! Tell them so. You want some sort of friendship with all of them - good. Try to make that happen.
]
More Questions: |