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difficult relationship between mother and grandmother and stuck inbetween
My mother and grandmothers relationship has always been difficult for one reason or another. my mother is not the easiest of people to live with and believes that my grandmother has treat her badly throughout her life.
whether my grandmother has done or not i dont know as both seem to believe its the other person making things up/forgetting things.
throughout my life it has been difficult with my mother aswell we have had numerous arguments and nasty things have been said on both parts. when my mother was being particularly bad my grandmother would support me and tell me how she understands and that its not my fault etc.. its just what my mother is like.
now things are going quite well between me and my mum but the relationship she has with my grandmother is still not great especially after a recent disagreement.
my grandmother is now saying she has had enough of trying and getting it thrown back in her face which is 100% understandable but it makes me feel uncomfortable to hear these things now things are ok for me and my mum.
i feel guilty as i feel like im sat on the fence after not being previously. iv always seen things from my grandmothers point of view as my mother is very stubborn and lets things cloud her judgement and is easily influenced by her moods whereas my grandmother is quite level headed.
i dont want to tell my grandmother that it makes me feel uncomfortable hearing her saying things now as i dont want to upset her and also feel as though im almost being two-faced/using.. i dont know!? im 20 and female and have left home for my education so im not directly involved and this doesnt happen that frequently usually because things are usually not ok with my mother (there has been a lot of heartache and hurt felt over the years)
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I know exactly how you feel my mother and grandmother dont even talk to eachother most of the time and if they run into eachother at the store they fight its very hard to be stuck in the middle. Especially when you have your mother talking bad to you about your grandmother and in turn your grandmother complains to you about your mother. But recently I decided that this had to stop in my life so althoughit was hard and I didnt want to hurt anyone or seem disrespectful I had to talk to them. Of course neither one of them would agree to meet up and all talk together so I had to have the talk twice. I sat down with them and I told them just how I felt but in the nicest way possible. I told them look I love you both and I understand that the two of you do not get along but that is between you please do not include me in on this. If you have a problem with the other person I suggest you take it up with them please dont complain or say bad things about the other to me it hurts and I dont like it at all.
As I explained this I reminded them alot that I love them BOTH. But if they didnt have anything nice to say it would be best not to say it at all in front of me. At first my mother was a little upset but after she thought about it she realized she was hurting me and I havent heard anything about their arguements since. Now of course they are still fighting but atleast they are not trying to get me involved. So why dont you try what I did it seemed to work for me good luck
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