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i think im scaring my boyfriend away :(
im female/18 and my boyfriend is 19
Me and the guy i absolutely adore have been dating for the last 3 weeks. it seriously feels like we've been dating for months. Even he agrees.
the only thing is, hes started to get a bit weird after the other night, when i stayed at his house like i normally do. We were in bed being intimate (not intercourse though), when he pulled away from me and told me " I think i'm falling for you" i responded with "i dont think..i KNOW im falling for you too" and we were both smiling. then he says "but im scared, ive never ever fallen for someone so quickly..." and i assured him that there was nothing to worry about, that i wasn't going anywhere.
since that night however, things feel odd. Ever since i found out he was feeling the same way as me, that he was falling for me too, i've been able to openly confess to him how much he means to me, and that everyday i fall for him a little bit more. but the thing is....now whenever i text him anything cute or whatnot, he doesnt say anything cute back to me, he'll just be like "im none of those things" or "your lieing" and its really starting to hurt me when he doesn't take my feelings for him seriously. He's very insecure, but hes absolutely perfect in my eyes. and no matter how much better i try to make him feel good about himself, or reassure him that hes absolutely amazing to me, he seems to just push me away. Im a very insecure person myself, and i feel like he's out of my league. it would be nice to have reassurance and know what he thinks about me every now and then. i just feel like ever since ive told him im falling for him too, that im scaring him away when i tell him that hes amazing and stuff to me...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Two insecure people in One relationship...leads to one thing. FAILURE! Not in a way that things will work out, that is less than likely. I understand how you feel. When someone is insecure, they have situations within themselves they need to work on. Being in a relationship with your insecurities doesn't make it wonderful, it makes more of a disaster than anything.
Pushing people who care genuinely about you away. And they're very unsure as to who is really there for them. Why? They can't feel that emotion from others. That particular sensor has been blocked for their senses. They have to work on themselves, as individual projects.
People like me, would be more than willing to help, as far as coaching/counseling goes. Therapy works best, only when the client is willing to want to help themselves.
Other than that, he's going to hear everything you say, and it wouldn't mean anything. No matter how much you try, or the emotions you'll show. He just wont feel it.
Its best to give him a bit of space, since he's pushing you away. Give him a bit of his own medicine. Only two things would become of it, either he'll realize that you've been there for him, and he pulls himself closer to you. Or, you'll end up drifting farther apart.
It is like a test in relationships. Everyone goes through something, and everyone gets that 'moment of truth' in their relationship, when their relationship is being tried or tested.
Good Luck.
Let me know how things go.
-Cinnamon B-
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