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my 20 year old husband dont seem intrested in sex? why not?
hello.
my name is leah i am 21 years old. i got married at 18 my personal choice so please dont juge. we both meet when i was 15 he was 14.. we feel in love pretty much right away but didnt start dateing right away. but when we did start dateing things where great we where both virgins and had sex 9 months after we started dateing. the sex was great everytime we did it. of corse being that young we did it offten...he asked me to marry him when i was 17 so 2 years in to are relationship. we both always wanted to get married young and i still love him just as much as i did back then. and so does he.
but see now we have been married for 2 years everything is great in a marrage excepted for the sex. hes only 20 this is odd for a man at that age to not want sex. i have a very high sex drive but even im ok to wait a few days to have sex but him he will go weeks with out it...we both dont work so i know hes not cheating on me cuz hes always home. he plays games all the time and i mean all the time from the time he gets up till the time he goes to bed. i just dont get it anymore
i try talking to him about it but he never has anything to say except i donno. i mean even if i come on to him try to get him in the mood he dont even get a bonner he says he gets tinggely feelings but no bonner and still dont want sex. that or he will push me away and say hes not in the mood. i love him so much but this is killing me and just makeing me not want to be with him i cant keep fighting with him about sex its crazy. does anyone have any ideas why hes like this its only been since we got married befor we got married things where great. but after we got married it just got worse and worse and now the last 6-9 months have been really bad like we go weeks now with out it use to just be days...and even if i do things he likes or tell him ill just please him it still dont seem to do nothing...he will only have sex if hes in the mood even if im not in the mood he will keep bugging tell i give in. but i dont belive in pushing a man away for sex unless theres a good reason like ur sick or something so i always say yes to him even if i dont really want to...but if i want to and he dont then its like to bad for me he wont give in even if i begg or try to do things he likes...
does anyone have any ideas why this is happening? or any adivce on things i can do that might spice it up and get him to want it or be more intrested im pretty open minded and will try anything once.
also please dont juge me about being married so young. i doubt me being married so young has anything to do with the sex life. and if he wants to leave me he can i dont stop him nore dose he stop me. we both do really love eachother and like i said everything in are marrage is good except for the sex part. thanks so much
P.S sorry for the speelling im jsut a lil stressed and try to figgure things out plus iv been up for 2 days i cant sleep with this on my mind all the time.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1.) He Is Gay
2.) He isn't psychically attracted to you just emotionally
3.) if none of those are it just talk to him about it instead of asking strangers cause i would like to no why my man don't wanna make love especially if we are married, his he getting it from someone else, do i not turn him on, or try doing something kinky really try to turn him on
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Neither of you work? Huh? Red flags went up right away when I read that. Sex isn't just physical. Its emotional and psychological. Healthy, happy sex comes when both partners feel fulfilled in other areas of their life. You husband doesn't work. That means he doesn't earn and doesn't provide, and that is a biological need set in EVERY man. He may not even realize it, but its true. Not doing those things can lead to depression and a sense of unworthiness. He's home all the time. That's another problem. He doesn't go out with friends, have hobbies outside of home and is basically in the house with you all day. Its not good for anyone to spend all their time in one spot with one person. I can have a serious emotional affect and it sounds like it is for your husband. If you want things to get better, encourage your husband to find work or decide on what career he would like to pursue and start working toward that. Get him out. Go for walks or sign up for activities in the community.Go out with friends, go places where you can meet new friends. And find another couple that has been married longer to be friends with. Its nice to have people to talk to and hang with who understand the difficulties of marriage and have been through it and can give you good advice. Marriage is work. You're learning that now. But you've made the commitment and you say you love each other, so you can pull through this, but it will take effort on both your parts. That's the truth. Good luck.
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There are two reason off the top of my head that I can think of. One is psychological, the other is medical. There could be a third which I will get to later.
The medical reason for a males low sex drive is usually a lack of testosterone. This is something a doctor can check for. There could be other reasons as well but that this is the main reason which is generally followed by stress as as the second biggest reason. I suggest you ask your husband to see your family doctor for a check up.
The psychological reason is he is hooked on video games. This is a recent phenomena which unfortunately strikes both young and old in different ways. It is an addictive vice not unlike cigarettes or alcohol. Here again a doctors help is going to be needed to break this addiction.
The other reason that I am think off is stress. While I cannot truly quantify a reason from what you have written. What comes to mind are the following questions: You mention neither of you work, why? Are you both in school. How do you two live? Are you dependent on your parents? Are you on some type of welfare or scholarships. Where do you live? Are you living with one of your parents? Any or all of these things could be weighing on him in a manner that could effect his libido.
I'm not a doctor so I really cannot give you a good reason for why he has lost his libido. After having him get a full check up by his family doctor, if nothing is found that the doctor can correct; I would suggest counseling for both of you.
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