If you read my former questions, you will see all about the abusive relationship I have with my babys father. While he remains jobless, he is getting better at being a father so I am giving him one last chance. He hasnt put his hands on me in a long time. But I feel like the damage is done and I can not love someone I have no respect for. Anyway, I used to talk to a guy named pete before BD and I started dating. I had stronger feelings for pete than BD but I didnt think the feeling was mutual. 3 months into me and BD's relationship, pete told me how much he liked me and how gorgeous I was to him and how he is sad he never said anything. well three years later I have a baby with BD and always wonder what could have been.
I have nice dreams about pete, how it couldhave been but last night I had the most lucid dream about him I have ever had about anything.
We started hanging out again (we still talk bc we work together....but we dont hang out like we used to) and our feelings for eachother returned. We were so comfortable and at peace in eachothers grasp. It felt like he was saving me from the hell I am living in. He loved my daughter. He loved me. But it was all a secret...eventually BD puts the pieces together and leaves me, but I had no sadness, just joy. I am just unsure what this dream meant. I know I would never jump into another relationship right off the bat, and I doubt Pete still has these feelings for me. It was just the feeling of the dream was unlike anything I have ever experienced....it was just nirvana. I just want to know what it is telling me.
You said that you are giving BD one last chance, but to be honest, you don't really sound like you hold out much hope for the relationship.
I know its hard to just move on when you have a child to raise. But if this relationship is abusive then you need to just move on and be done with it. I think you know that & it may be
coming out in your dreams. It may be saying there is a good guy and a good relationship out there for you somewhere. May no be with Pete, but you can have a good relationship.
dearcandore answered Thursday June 2 2011, 11:26 pm: I think you secretly wish someone would come and whisk you away from the awful relationship you are in right now. Your mind is telling you that you are too scared to be alone, and if only someone else would come along to love and protect you, you could finally get out of your current relationship. The old crush is just someone on your mind. I don't think he is really the issue. I think you need to ask yourself why it is you need another man to rescue you from a situation you obviously don't want to be in. If you love your daughter you will be the example for her of the kind of life you hope she has someday. If you stay with an abuser, statistics are pretty much clear that she will end up with an abuser too. If you jump from man to man, she will grow up to do the same. Think of your daughter and do your best to become the woman you hope she will be someday. Its the most loving thing you can do for the both of you. I think that's what your dream means. [ dearcandore's advice column | Ask dearcandore A Question ]
smileydino answered Wednesday June 1 2011, 11:01 pm: Dreams often show things you want or just people or memories and things that are important. I always dream about my former boyfriend, although I have moved on and found someone new, I still have heart wrenching dreams where we go to a concert with the band that plays our song and it comes on and he kisses me. Though I have no feelings for him any more that dream always hurts, just for the mere fact I am reliving that bond that we shared with one another. I think it is simply your subconscious telling you that you still care for this person. I think you should weigh the pros and cons of your daughter's father. Talk to Pete, don't make any rash decisions, but if your boyfriend ruins this chance do not give him any more. [ smileydino's advice column | Ask smileydino A Question ]
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