Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


He kinda ignores me and we have NOTHING to talk about!!


Question Posted Wednesday June 1 2011, 7:24 am

Hey!!:) I'm a 15-year-old Chinese. My first boyfriend and I have been dating for a month now. He's really sweet in private but in public we HARDLY TALK!! We don't have much(almost none)to talk about! Someone says Silence is gold, is it really true?!
We're dating in private cause our parents don't approve, only a few friends know about it, is it why he sometimes kinda ignores me when he's with his friends?


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


VoiceofReason answered Saturday June 11 2011, 6:14 am:
First, you guys are still teenagers. That means that you are already having to deal with a lot of insecurities and the fact that you don't really have a firm grip on just who you are yet. And then having to play the denial game as far as your relationship goes only brings more stress into the equation.

"Silence is Golden" only has to do with the need for quiet reflection or a peaceful environment at times. Noise induces stress in people. It has nothing to do with people not talking to each other being some kind of virtue.

You also have to remember that men aren't raised to be as talky as girls. Men are more trained to endure hardship quietly and we don't really talk about our feelings to our male friends. Rather, we bond through doing stuff together instead of the reciprocal self disclosure women bond through. So there is a cultural disconnect between men and women arising from how they are raised.

In fact, a lot of guys are better talkers when the woman provokes them into reacting to what she is saying. So you might have to do the lion's share of the conversational work with this guy.

What I see ahead for you is more of the same unless you can get past the parental disapproval thing and free up some social space for you two. But then again, kids your age should be exploring life and dating around and not getting tied down as yet. Wait until you are in your mid-20's for that when you have more of a grasp on what you want out of life.

[ VoiceofReason's advice column | Ask VoiceofReason A Question
]




Xui answered Wednesday June 1 2011, 11:40 am:
Relationships that are kept a "secret" are normally hard to maintain. You cannot freely have a relationship and you can't be fully committed to taking a relationship seriously if you have to work your way around it.


It sounds like your relationship is in the stage of dying out, He's bored and wants probably wants to see what else is available that will benefit him. This doesn't mean he doesn't like you, It likely means the relationship isn't going to go anywhere because your parents disapprove. The only way to really know for sure is to talk to him about it.

[ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: Bed bugs?
Next Question >>> Getting over a guy

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker