He kinda ignores me and we have NOTHING to talk about!!
Question Posted Wednesday June 1 2011, 7:24 am
Hey!!:) I'm a 15-year-old Chinese. My first boyfriend and I have been dating for a month now. He's really sweet in private but in public we HARDLY TALK!! We don't have much(almost none)to talk about! Someone says Silence is gold, is it really true?!
We're dating in private cause our parents don't approve, only a few friends know about it, is it why he sometimes kinda ignores me when he's with his friends?
"Silence is Golden" only has to do with the need for quiet reflection or a peaceful environment at times. Noise induces stress in people. It has nothing to do with people not talking to each other being some kind of virtue.
You also have to remember that men aren't raised to be as talky as girls. Men are more trained to endure hardship quietly and we don't really talk about our feelings to our male friends. Rather, we bond through doing stuff together instead of the reciprocal self disclosure women bond through. So there is a cultural disconnect between men and women arising from how they are raised.
In fact, a lot of guys are better talkers when the woman provokes them into reacting to what she is saying. So you might have to do the lion's share of the conversational work with this guy.
What I see ahead for you is more of the same unless you can get past the parental disapproval thing and free up some social space for you two. But then again, kids your age should be exploring life and dating around and not getting tied down as yet. Wait until you are in your mid-20's for that when you have more of a grasp on what you want out of life. [ VoiceofReason's advice column | Ask VoiceofReason A Question ]
Xui answered Wednesday June 1 2011, 11:40 am: Relationships that are kept a "secret" are normally hard to maintain. You cannot freely have a relationship and you can't be fully committed to taking a relationship seriously if you have to work your way around it.
It sounds like your relationship is in the stage of dying out, He's bored and wants probably wants to see what else is available that will benefit him. This doesn't mean he doesn't like you, It likely means the relationship isn't going to go anywhere because your parents disapprove. The only way to really know for sure is to talk to him about it. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.