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dont like hugging friend
Hi. i have a friend who's gay and in our circle of friends, he's particularly close with me. however lately i noticed that he loves hugging too much and i'm quite uncomfortable with it. i enjoy hugs but this friend of mine hugs on an extreme level, like once he hugs me it's hard to get away from him. and he clings around me a lot. so now i'm keeping a cold distance away from him and i am aware that he notices it because he no longer hugs me. but i feel quite sad, i don't want him to misunderstand that i hate him or anything. should i tell him or not? will it clear up the tension?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
So your friend is gay and likes to hug. Your uncomfortable with the hugging or that he is gay? If he was straight and hugged just as much as he does would you still be uncomfortable?
I ask this question for if it is just hugging, regardless of his sexuality it is easy to fix. But if it is his sexuality that is the problem that is harder to fix and still maintain his friendship.
Their are two trains of thought when it comes to homosexuality. Some believe it is a matter of choice. While others believe that this is the way they were born to be. I happen to believe that people are born the way they are and it is not a life style they choose.
What you first need to do is figure out what bothers you; his lifestyle or his hugging. If he has never made a pass at you and he knows you are not interested in him sexually I doubt he would ever make a pass at you. Their are many men and women who are straight that are, as I call them hugger's. They are just very loving warm people. Cannot a gay person be a warm loving person without any sexual undertones?
The reason I have written what I have is that the solution to the problem is simple. It is the question that comes afterward that requires the thinking I have asked you to do. The solution is to simply ask your friend to not hug you. Simply tell him your not a touchy feely type guy and would he mind not hugging as much as he does.
He is going to ask if this is because if he is gay. That is why you need to know the answer for yourself before you ask him to back off.
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Dude, the only thing you can do is sit down and talk it out. First, though, you will have to decide on what basis you will put your friendship and then tell your friend where you stand. This should be totally easy to iron out.
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