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Need insights about my sexual orientation
Hi, idk if this is the correct category to be asking this question but I sorta figure that this is the closest?
Anyway, I'm 22 year old female and I'm confused about well, if I'm straight or lesbian or bi. (I'm female despite my username.) I found myself looking at other girls a lot lately. I look at their chests and their legs and that's it. I don't have any sexual thoughts about it. I just look.
Also, I have a boyfriend(whom I love very much) and when we make out, I do get turned on though the overall experience in bed is just ok. I enjoy it but sometimes, I don't know if I'm just faking it or am making myself enjoy it. Plus, we don't really talk that much about what we like. I get more aroused when we like talk about our fantasies when we chat or when I read heterosexual erotic literature. Idk if it's just that well, I'm the first girl he did more than kiss and me, him, so we're both inexperienced.
And lastly, I remember panicking when my boyfriend asked me if I liked gay guys. I didn't immediately hear the guys bit. My brain stopped at gay and I panicked. This also happened when my guy asked me if I was dressing up to impress other girls. It turns out he was quoting an article but yeah, I sorta panicked for some reason.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I am almost 20 and I have looked at girls and even thought about other woman but I could never see myself with a female. I am married It may not always be a happily marriage but Im married with two children. I think guys look at other guys but not once in their life will they ever admit it.
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From what you have written I would say you are not a lesbian. As for looking at other women I don't think I could put that in to the category of being bi-curious either. To me I think it is more of checking out the competition. Sort of how do you stack up against others.
As for do women dress up to impress other women. I read somewhere that women do dress up more to impress other women than they do to attract a man. How true this is or just how the study was conducted I don't know. I do now that when I attend corporate functions all the women there are dressed the 'nine's" as the saying goes. Since most of the women there are married they are not looking to attract a mate. They are dressing for success, that being the moving up the ladder either for themselves or their husband. In that case it means passing muster with the higher ups wives.
As for sex itself; you are correct sex is generally better when partners communicate. Communication is key in almost everything we do, including sex. If I'm your boyfriend how do I know what your likes and dislikes are if I don't talk to you. How do I know that you are not just putting up what the way or things I'm doing when we make love just to please me. The same is true of me when you are making love to me.
It is not gay that I like my wife to suck and nip at my nipples. If I had not said something to her she would never of done so even though she wanted to; but thinking I would think her doing so would make me feel gay she didn't. Fact is when she does it sends a wild feeling right to the center of me.
Most of the girls I went out with where more vaginal, at least that is what I thought, so I always concentrated my attention more on my wives vaginal area than her clitoris. Turns out my wife is more clitoral and needs more clitoral stimulation to turn her on. I would never had known this if we had not talked about our likes an dislikes. What we would like to try and not try.
Yes, even role play can be a very big part of some peoples sex lives. Sex does not have to be reserved for the bedroom. A popular role play is the maid and the master of the manner. Your imagination can take you from there.
The fact that you are both sexually inexperienced says you will have questions and fears. What is important is to communicate. Just like you both want to learn about each others bodies, you need to learn how to make love to each other that gives each other maximum satisfaction. To do this you have to communicate.
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While you may have some fear of being gay, I don't believe you are. There is nothing wrong with finding people of the same sex attractive. It doesn't mean you are gay.
You aren't having sexual thoughts about the same sex. You say you enjoy sex with your current partner. I think it is just a matter of his being inexperienced.
Stop panicking and try to relax. I think all the feelings you are having are perfectly normal.
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