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Why is he treating me this way after we broke up?
Okay so my ex boyfriend and I broke up like... almost a year ago. But we had a VERY messy break up and it's taken us basically up until now to get things settled out... and I still wouldn't even say we have it settled out. We are... I guess, friends. Although I don't see him much out of school (by choice). I can honestly say that it's taken a hell of a long time and it was extremely painful, but I'm over him. And I didn't really feel totally 100% about saying that until like a month ago. He REALLY hurt me... I don't want to go into that whole story cause it is loooonnnngggg but take my word for it that he did a lot of shitty stuff to me... and it took a long time to be able to forgive him. A lot of it involved our physcial relationship. He was my first kiss, fingering, handjob, and blowjob. He pressured/guilted me into a lot of it and at one point physcially forced me to do things. But again... long story. We were both in really bad places and we both mad mistakes... gosh I really don't want to start on that cause that's not what this question is about.
ANYWAY. The problem is this. He can be incredibly mean to me. He will often call me a whore and a slut and make not funny jokes about stuff that happened between us and just be all around rude... Like commenting on my clothes. I don't dress inappropriately. I don't think so, and nor has anyone but him ever commented on it. But he always seems to point out when I'm wearing a skirt that is yeah pretty tight... or a shirt that shows a little bit of cleavage. And he doesn't point it out in a nice way. When if you want to be technical. He's a much bigger slut that I am!! He's slept with about four girls since we broke up, there are pictures of his dick on numerous phones, and he admitted to me that he skyped naked with girls. He also has sex with his current girlfriend on a regular basis, his friends have told me that that is the only reason they are together, that he's admittted that to them. Which I don't find hard to believe because he also admitted that he onlly liked me when we were hooking up. Yet he calls me a whore? And he "makes fun" of me being stupid. I'm not stupid, I have a 3.9 GPA which is higher than his and yeah he's a grade above but I'm in more honors/accelarated classes than him. He doesn't even make sense it's just like he's a jerk because he LIKES being mean to me. I honestly think he enjoys it. And I've told him that he's being a dick and everytime he says "I know... I'm sorry. I'll stop, I'm really trying. I don't know why I'm such a jerk to you." the thing is I WANT to know why. I want to know why we can't ever seem to get our relatinship in a good place... And it's not like his comments affect my self esteem, they really dont'. I know none of what he's saying is true... SO why is he saying it? I am fifteen, female. He is seventeen, male.
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I'm 15 to and yeh i was mistreated-but omg what you've been through must be hard.
The first thing you probobly realize is that you deserve better and can do better by the sounds of things.
The thing is, people who act like this to their ex are very insecure people. I guess what you have to understand is that he doesn't even know why he's doing these mean things to you, because he is in a very insecure place. he doesn't know what he wants. It's important that you don't react to bad things he says-pretend he never said anything. This will make him sit down and think that he's hurt you. By reacting, it's like you want communication with him at any cost.
So the true answer is he's too insecure to deal with his emotions, so he blurts out anything. Once he's had time alone to 'find himself' i guess he'll see what a great gal he lost.
Good luck-boys can be idots sometimes :)
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I think it doesn't matter why he's doing it...the real question is why the heck do you even still talk to this guy? I'm sorry, but he sounds like a huge jerk, and you don't need that, right? It is possible to forgive him and move on but keep him out of your life, and I think that'd be a lot better for you.
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