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How to get over an ex with new boyfriend?
I have posted up a couple of other times on the forums about my situation. About a week and a half ago my gf of 2 years broke up with me we are on and off long distance and the last time I saw her was 3 months ago. Its a long story but the short of it is that we broke up and are doing no contact at the moment. Just 2 weeks ago to me it seemed like everything was fine. We were talking a few times a day and sending corny love messages back and forth like usual. It hit me like a ton of bricks when she wanted a break and I was so surprised. Part of the reason I moved across the world and got a job here was to be closer to her.
Lately Im having such a hard time coping with the situation. Its caught me by surprise and Im not sure what to do. I know I need to keep busy and be social to keep my mind off of her but its hard because im in a new city where I dont know anyone.
I went out with a co worker last night to the bar and had a few drinks but that was a horrible idea. Once I had a alcohol it made me think of her 100X more. I just couldnt stop thinking about how she is with this other guy. The thought of them dancing, kissing, screwing each other is just driving me insane! I cant believe that after everything we have gone through together she has fallen for some other guy. It really is just unbelievable for me to think that she is with someone else and sometimes I feel like this is all just a bad dream. I know with time it will get better but does anyone have any advice for me to get over her?
I know the most important thing is to stay active but its hard for me to be active and social when I have been here a few weeks and dont know anyone. I have started running early every morning and stuff but I still feel messed up. I really wanna move on and i will not contact her but Im always thinking about her. What should I do to get through this?
I feel like somedays Im totally over it and then other days its super difficult. I know with time it will get better. Its just amazing to me though that she is acting how she is. Even if I saw an extremely beautiful girl with a great personality that wanted to date me right now I couldnt date her. I would be thinking about my ex. I guess thats what really is confusing to me is how can she be with this other guy only a couple weeks after we broke up with a 2 year relationship. It can possible be more than a few weeks shes been with this guy since they didnt know each other until that time. How can she not be thinking about me when being with him? I guess I just felt more for her than she did for me even though I really trusted that she loved me.
I really think that one of these days I will be getting a phone call from her or something after she gets out of her rebound thing and has some time back to her normal life here in Japan away from the study abroad. Part of me really wants to hear from here but I know that really, even if I did hear from her and she desperately wanted me back that no matter what she says it will never change what happened. It wont change that she disrespected me and acted selfish. My head tells me its nuts to take her back and that I shouldn't even if she wanted to at some point, but feeling wise I just miss her so much.
This whole situation would be a lot easier too if I was in my home country with access to family and friends rather than starting off in a foreign country.
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Long distance relationships are extremely hard to maintain and in order to maintain the relationship you have to be willing to travel and make time. You are in Japan, That is across the country like you said and would be literally impossible to work it out unless you had plans of moving back.
Break ups are difficult, They take time to get over. Right now you are going through the grieving of a break up and your next step would be accepting that it's over. Not having any contact with your ex as hard as it is too hear, It's your best bet. As long you would remain in contact it would be harder for you to move on and focus on your life. When you feel you are able to move on then you can start dating again but make sure you are fully and completely over it before you do. It would be unfair to your new spouse if you were too still be hungover on an ex. Focus on getting your life situated, Hang out with friends and keep yourself occupied and over time you will gradually learn to except it is what it is.
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Have you asked her about her reasons as to why she wanted a break? Was it another guy?
*Wasn't exaxtly stated so am just clarifying*
Sometimes distance can hurt a relationship more on the inside than it acutally seems,. what may have happened is even though you two are not too far apart the distance might have unconnected her to what first was.
You are very right that it will take some time,. and You are Extremely strong for trying to figure this out,.
I would suggest taking time to heal yourself and learn about you again,. Did you used to likke to paint,. play basketball? start doing things you Love but didn't do before,. or sign up for a art class. something different. That will both get your mind off your ex. and open up your windows for meeting new people.
Hope this helps:)
~Jasmine*
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