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I don't know what to do.
My boyfriend and I haven't been going out for a long time, but I really like him.
He's very funny, cuddly, sweet, and smart. He and I share a lot of interests and I feel like we have a good chemistry. I spend a lot of time with him, almost every other day, and when we're not together we talk a lot.
But I'll admit that sometimes I get sketchy about our relationship. For one, he is very...clingy. He always wants to be all over me. Always handsy and groping me and at first it was very passionate touching but now it's getting sexual. He usually stops when I say no but starts a while later again. I sometimes think he just wants me for sex. He claims he doesn't, but I don't know. I feel weird sometimes.
Another thing is that he's always distracted. Everything is too important for him to be on the phone with me. The tv is always on as well as the videogames. He barely says a word. I express my concern and he doesn't do much about it. It's like clockwork. I just stopped calling for a day but if I don't call him we don't talk all day because he's grounded from his yahoo and Facebook.
I really really like him. I still want to be with him without being weird and naggy and trying to change him. What do I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Liking the idea of who someone is/thinks they are/wants to be is not the same as liking who someone just is on a daily basis. Do you like him on a daily basis?
It sounds like you two have a ton of contact, almost to the point of living together contact. Maybe he needs more alone time, maybe you need less.
I mean, there's really nothing wrong with being somewhat out of contact for a day. My wife and I are full time students and I work, some days I go 12 hours and come home with school work to do. Some days we spend hours watching movies and hanging out, others we barely have time to talk. That's the ebb and flow of life.
I can't tell where your life is ebbing and flowing. Are you two spending too much time together? Too little? Do things need to change or do you just need to adjust to each others routines.
We, the advisers, haven't got a clue. Go talk to your boyfriend and find out. This is your first lesson in relationship compromise. Learning to bring up concerns without accusing him of failing in some way and finding a middle ground where you both try a little harder to make each other happy and accommodate the others needs.
On the sex front, if you're of age to be asking questions about a boyfriend here, you're young enough to be dealing with a young man's sex drive. My wife has to deal with mine all the time, the question there isn't what he wants but does he respect your boundaries. The flip side to that is, are you expressing your boundaries clearly?
More questions for you to answer. You two need to communicate. Tell him what you think, try to express what you want or need. Let him honestly respond to it. Keep it from getting defensive or turning into a fight.
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So I know the feeling about thinking a guy wants you for sex. So you need to talk to him about it. If you have, do it one more time and tell him just to stop touching you like that altogether, not just during the time you tell him no.
If he doesn't listen to this and keeps it up, don't stay with him because you can't stay in a relationship hoping it will get better. For the most part, it won't change.
He probably is a sweet guy but if you don't fix this part of the relationship now, then you won't be happy.
So the video game problem. Ask him to at least talk to you for like 30 min to an hour without playing his games. Haha, my ex did that all the time. Geez, guys and video games.
Don't stress out about him because you really can't change a guy. Good luck!
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If you feel all he wants is sex, Then there must be a good reason why you feel that way.
Lets look at what you've said;
1. He has been getting sexual lately, When he is asked to stop he does but a little while later it picks up again.
Sound to me that he isn't getting the no part, He is being persistent and pushy. Does it sound like he wants sex? If you want my honest answer Yes.
You said you two haven't been dating that long if he isn't willing to wait and respect you, Then he just isn't worth your time. Respect plays a huge role.
When a guy plays video games half of time the time they go into their own world, They forget reality. If your boyfriend can't lay off his video games for a half an hour or so..You've got yourself a problem. The way you can generally tell if he is into you for you is by the way he talks, acts and most of all his actions. If he seems pushy and constantly or often bringing up sex or even his little "fantasies" then you should eventually start to suspect that he is your typical horny teenager.
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