|
i'm in love with a girl
18/f, she's 17/f. (never in my life have i ever liked girls like this. i've always been into guys, but she's different)
she came to school at the beginning of the year and i thought she was quite annoying. she thought i was a bitch. recently, we started talking a lot more and we're becoming pretty good friends, i guess. i noticed that i'd get really happy when i see her. i'm always looking forward to having classes with her. i've had a few erotic dreams about her but i never thought anything of them. i never really thought anything about all of this. then, about 2 weeks ago, she got upset during class and started crying. something inside me broke. i couldn't stand to see her upset. i tried to comfort her and get her to stop crying but nothing seemed to be working and it upset me greatly. all i wanted to do was just hold her and tell her everything would be all right. this is when i figured out i was in love with her. now, you might be thinking "no, you're a teenage girl, you just THINK you're in love." and i'm here to say: you couldn't be any more incorrect. i know when i'm in love. i've been in love with two boys my entire life, and i remember when i first felt something for both of them, it was the same exact thing i'm feeling for her, now: i'd do anything for her. literally, ANYTHING. we complete eachother. i care about her life more than mine. all i ever want to do anymore is be close to her.
but the problem with this is i have a boyfriend. we've been together for about 3.5 years. lately, he's neglecting me up the ass. we never hang out. he never calls. i don't have his new number so i can't call him. i'm thinking about dumping him, but i don't want to because what if she doesn't like me back? she's abundantly bisexual, but i'm getting mixed signals. like she'll hang out with me all the time in school and then when i ask her if she wants to hang out over the weekend, she says she'll text me but she blows me off! and i don't wanna risk scaring her away by texting her all the time: "are you there?" "do you still wanna hang out?" "any plans today?" etc. i just really don't know what to do about all this. and on top of everything, I'M STRAIGHT. i've had one other girl crush, but i've always maintained that i could just make out with her at a party or something. to be honest, i really don't like girls at all. they're too much drama and teenage girls are all just a huge wreck. idk what it is i see in this other chick, but i could do anything and everything for her, i would try to be good to her, i'd try my hardest to keep her happy and stay with her, etc. what should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Woooooowww!! :D I swear almost the same thing happened to me earlier this year. I didn't think I was into girls either, I thought it was just weird! But it really isn't. First off, just let me say that I know this was written a while ago, so I really hope you got rid of your "boyfriend". NOBODY deserves to be treated like that. Second, it would be fine if you asked her if she still wanted to hang out or something. I know why you're worried.. but if you think about it, if she doesn't know how you feel about her, and she thinks you're just friends, then it would be completely normal to ask one of your friends to hang out, am I right? Jeez.. I bet you figured this out already and I'm wasting my time. But I still want to help. All I can say is be there for her. That's the FIRST thing she'd notice, is a friend that's always there for her. Then she'll notice YOU more. She'll think about how much you care about her and want her to be happy, and she'll start to realize how much she cares about you too. Wow I really hope nothing happened already : You see, this is why you're supposed to read the dates that the advice was needed BEFORE you start writing 20 paragraphs! haha. But really, I hope everything works out for you!! And if it did already, then great! And if not, I know how you feel. I've already been interested in two girls and I went about those "crushes" completely the wrong way. I hope you don't make all of the mistakes I've made and I hope you have a great life no matter who you end up with!! :D Inbox me if you need help with anything else. :)
]
First thing to do, is dump the loser boyfriend. It doesn't matter what you decide to do or who you decide to date after that, he needs to be gone. Your friend may be a little afraid of her feelings toward you, that may be why she's avoiding you on the weekends. I think if you're single, that will let her know you're available and can be in a relationship with her. I thought I was straight, until that first night I kissed my friend at a sleepover and I knew that I wanted more from life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with both sexes but you should stick with one at a time until you get older and can discuss these topics with other grown adults, that will understand your situation. You would probably feel intimidated with your friend if she had a boyfriend, so don't let her go through that, if you truly want to be with her. After you break up with your boyfriend, I think her attitude toward you will change. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. I hope this helps and good luck.
]
Talk to her, If you two are of good friends as you say then she should be open and respectful. She may not feel the same way back and if she doesn't you two can remain friends. Dropping the bombshell on someone isn't always easy but the only way to find out is too try. Start up a conversation with her and gradually work your way towards the bisexual topic and ask her how she feels about it and she what she says. If you want to do it a more casual way, Ask her to go out to dinner with you one night and you could drop little hints without fully coming out and saying it. Compliment her, Make eye contact, Smile..You know be flirty but don't over do it. As for the boyfriend, If he is ignoring you then he isn't worth your time. I'd imagine you'd be the first one he'd give his number too if he changed it and if he is neglecting you then hell with him dump him. If it doesn't lead to dating with the friend then at least you've got a friendship. If you feel more comfortable you could even try writing her a letter about it but personally I would be more comfortable if someone approach me in person rather than writing a letter only because they would be there to assure me that it's perfectly fine if I didn't feel the same way rather than to be weirded out when I'm alone while my brain is running a mile a minute. Now, For the next part..You may be straight but have you thought about dating your friend?...You said you were willing to do anything for her. Well, From the sound of what you said above you may be bisexual and if you are or turn out too be that's perfectly okay! At least you know who you are, Be happy with yourself.
Good luck
]
More Questions: |