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gay husband
how do i know if he is gay and what advice on how to deal with him?
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Hi, I'm one of the older advisers on this website, definitely old enough to be your father and probably old enough to be you grandfather. It is questions like yours that I became an advisor so that hopefully the wisdom of my age may be helpful to you.
Your question gives way to a question from me as to why are you asking this question. What has you husband done or what have you seen him doing to make you wonder. You could every right to be concerned if you believe your husband is participating in gay sex. Your health is at risk if you and he are having sex as well.
I don't usually suggest confrontations, though this is a somewhat unusual and difficult a situation.
If you have evidence that points to him leaning to or having gay sexual relations you need to have a conversation with him. You need to tell him of your concerns and show him your evidence. If the evidence is his looking at gay porn on the computer then you need to tell him your concerned with his choices in porn viewing and your concern for your own health as to where that viewing may be leading him.
Regardless of his answer you should insist that you both be checked for HIV and STDs. If you two continue to have sexual relations, you need him to wear a condom until the results are back.
Now the other side of why you feel this way could be from your own sexual relations with your husband.
Has he asked you to finger his anus or stick your finger in him during foreplay or sex. If he has there are several good reasons for this.
There are a large number of nerves around the anus and anal area, as you may be well aware of. It just may feel good to have you finger and possibly lick him back there.
As to sticking you finger in him: the Prostrate Gland resides just with the anal cavity, about the depth of the average index finger. If you gently massage the prostrate while giving him a handjob or blowjob, it can result in a mind blowing orgasm for him.
Has your husband asked you to use a butt plug, dildo or strap-on and actually have anal sex with him. I can see this type of request from him, if it is happening, being the reason for your question.
One answer is that by doing so for him you are satisfying his gay inquisitiveness. This is possible that a male could be hiding his gay side behind a heterosexual relationship and satisfying it through heterosexual relations.
The other view is that this is quite normal sex between two heterosexual people. You could feel very pleased that your husband is comfortable enough in his relationship with you and your view of his manliness to ask you to indulge him in this type of sex.
It also allows him to be more passive or sublimated for a bit, giving you a more dominate position over him. Something he may subconsciously need to give his life more balance.
My views on sex and sex play are very liberal. I believe there is nothing weird about anything two consenting adults want to try as long as both parties consent and no one is physically harmed. This means that there has to be open communications between partners and both partners need to know the others limitations on anything they trying, even in marriage.
So the real short answer to your questions is: You and your husband need to have a conversation about your suspicions. Based on his answers you can proceed accordingly.
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Little things I mean does he have sex with you. What are the reason that you think is gay?
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