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She wants me to hurt her... and I don't want to do it... but I want to make her happy?
Alright so this might be a weird question but I don't know really where else to ask it... My girlfriend and I aren't what you'd call kinky but if we do get outta the box, there's one thing we probably enjoy the most. She likes being... dominated I think is what you'd say. She's a confident, strong, amazing girl, but in the bedroom she is extremely submissive. Which I'm okay with. She likes being held down, tied up, and loves the naughty schoolgirl/evil teacher thing haha ahhh... But I'm very careful with her, shes pretty tiny so I don't let anything get out of hand, no worries. Yeah anyway so she's been kinda hinting at wanting me to get rough with her, which that, I'm not okay with. Thinking about hurting her turns me off instatntly and I told her that, she gets it completely but I was wondering how can I give her those same feelings? In a different way. Or something we haven't been doing, something new. Just wondering if you guys had any ideas, thanksss a bunch. 19/M
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I totally love some good S&M once in a while. Go to a good porn site, like redtube.com or xhamster.com and look up bondage and spanking videos. Have her show you what she likes or dislikes. I would start out by tying her down and getting a nice belt or wooden brush and give her a spanking that makes her ass nice and red. Some women enjoy a "rape" scene with someone they know but the thought of playing hard to get and being forced to have sex, is a big turn on. I hope this helps and good luck.
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Hi, I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather. I'm hoping the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.
First, Let me say that when it comes to sex my thinking is nothing is weird or totally off limits as long as no one is really physically hurt. There are a couple of rules that are a must and must be followed. Both parties have to consent to whatever act is being tried. No means no and stop means stop; even if you are already having some form of intercourse. Now if you follow these rules I would say that leaves you a wide field of stuff to try.
Now as to what is being asked of you.In one respect your girlfriend is paying you a huge compliment in so far as the amount of trust she is placing in you by making her request. First it is not an easy request to make. Second: She is trusting you to hurt her without physically harming her; there is a difference.
Some women have a rape fantasy, why I don't know. But to satisfy this fantasy she is placing a huge amount of trust in her partner when she asks him to act this out with her. You have done somethings with her that are as some may consider a little outside of the box. Frankly a little BDSM is a form of sexual pleasure which in varying degrees is enjoyed by a great many people.
One of the most popular forms of BDSM is spanking. It is a form of dominance and can supply a certain amount of pain as well. It is also something where you can judge how much pain you are inflicting based on the redness of the skin. The two of you can decide on how much pain or roughness she would like and you can stop when you feel you have reached the point of pain that you wish to inflict or she uses a safe word that you have both agreed upon.
There are other ways of giving her what she is looking for without inflicting pain. She needs to be more specific in what she wants from you. If it is roughness that includes pain then try grabbing her and forcing her over your knee and baring her butt for a spanking.
If it is simply she wants to be man handled in a rough manner I think you can accomplish that easily enough without slapping her around. Ask her to wear clothing she wouldn't mind getting torn. Then be forceful with her. Tear her clothing off, forget foreplay and just take her.
Most important as with all sex play is you both to agree to what you want and what you are going to do if you are going to have an enjoyable sexual relationship. As long as no true physical harm is to be done to one another you can always try something one time before saying you don't like it.
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I'm 18 F and, even though I am not interested in this sort of sexual activity myself, I understand and respect that some people are.
I think you have to sit and talk to her about it, ask her to define what she actually wants. If she wants you to do something with her which is totally not acceptable to you, tell her. You never know, you might be getting the wrong vibe about what she wants you to do.
If she is a decent person, which I have NO doubt that she isn't, she will understand and respect your views and opinions. After all, it's something that you both have to be happy participating in.
I hope this helps.
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