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I either love him or hate him, or I'm insane
I've worked with this guy for years, we're both married. A few years ago my husband cheated on me. And less than a year later, this guy I've been working w/ starts to hang around me ALL The time for about six months. Nothing major happened, but we became close friends...too close, and not wanting to repeat my husband's mistakes with "the guy friend", I started pushing him away. And eventually, I was successful at doing so. Then we both lost our jobs, and found new ones...at the same place oddly enough, which he lied to me about and said he would NOT be employed there. NOW, over a year since that...we both work together, and I miss him terribly. But I pushed, really hard. I'm still married, but nothing has been the same since my husband cheated. And now I think about the guy friend all the time, and it's a terrible effort to just leave him alone. Harder than leaving anyone alone I ever had. And when I do try to talk to him, it's like it's to late. I have no idea why I can't let go of this friendship, and maybe more emotion than just a friendship, but I wish I knew what i needed to hear or say to feel better. I dissolved it. Why can't I just feel good about not cheating? Why do I miss him? How do I stop missing him? Or how do I apologize and just be friends and get him to forget how bad I was towards him? And could I even be just friends with him? Because if he did consider that as an option, could I even stick to it? I don't even know myself when it comes to this guy.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
You intially was looking for a way to stay happy during the tough times of your marriage. I do believe it is easier to maintain platonic friendships when both parties are married and settled into separate lives that rash decisions aren't the first choice. Besides, if you had to push him away in the way you described he already was ready to cheat on his own wife with you. Men know that maintaining close relationships with women, makes women more.... tolerable and easily persuaded into things than if they were to come outright with their actual intentions. He already felt that if you two was gonna hook-up... the moment where the possibility of it happening had come and gone on his "male intention" list. Unless you outright jump his bones now.. he'd probably would not like to put the time back in to re-build your comfort level to commit adultery all over again. Just not sure that you would like to actually have a friendship with a guy exactly like your husband..... Maybe you just miss dating and your way of thinking about your husband BEFORE his cheating. There's many things to wonder about... but maybe the @ work spouse isn't where you should start...
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