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so im 13 and i have gone through a lot of crap in my life, a lot. not really gonna go into detail, but basically what happeened in a nutshell is my life went upside down from being fun-loving girl to being confused, depressed and suicidal. thankfully i am not any of the last three discriptions anymore. I have lifted a weight off my chest and i feel very releived, but when i did lift the weight off my chest, it was the most pain i've felt in a long time. before that i was kinda numb or depressed you could say, but when this happened i exploded out of rage and anger. and i did cut. but i promised i would never do it again. how could i? it was basically the worst thing in my life that ever happened. things can only get better. i have been seeing a therapist. it is helping me.now is the time im trying to go back to being that fun-loving social butterfly i was before, even before i was depressed. so im determined to get my happy back with the help of going to therapy once a week, not cutting (which i only did 2x)and being optimistic, and improving myself by maybe who knows? becoming a nicer person, doing yoga and eating right? i think this is a great start for me to being myslef again. the weight i lifted off my chest recently happened about a month ago. and i feel the need to smoke, and drink, and do pot. Now i know it is not legal i am aware of that. and i know its not coming from a "normal" place, bc kids my age do not start that until maybe 16-18 yrs old. and i now realize that its coming from a place of hurt, since i said its the most pain i've felt in a long time. if i get over the hurt, since the weight has been lifted, and work on myself, will it pass? will the pain pass just like the drugs? i was also wandering if i were or did do drugs of some sort will it help ease the pain, on top of me working on myself? if u watch the movie Thirteen its almost identical what i went thru. so thank you sooo much xoxoxo im sry it was long. please give AS MUCH ADIVCE AS POSSIBLE THANK YOU.
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Hello
I dealt with the exact same thing as you. I was the fun preppy cheerleading. I was friendly, had a big social life, even considered popular. I then started to get a bit depressed. I would sit in my room and listen to sad songs. I eventually started cutting. I was the girl nobody would ever have known. It eventually got worse and i started doing drugs. I would smoke weed in my room alone everynight and drink every weekend. I soon became so obsessed with drugs I tried committing suicide. I ended up in the hospital and was sent to a behaivoral health center. I just want to say that no matter how many drugs you take or cut it actually makes it worse. You soon get addicted so easily and cant really see a way out.. I have fully recovered and live a happy life. Its annoying when people say oh you are so perfect you should do modeling ect. but they have no idea. You are definitely not alone. You need to get your feelings out, maybe go see a psychologist. Quit all the negative thoughts. I started taking anti depressants. it really helps. Nobody has to know and It will help a great lot. I know you think nobody cares and your the only one in the world, but theres a lot of people suffering as well.. It will get better :)
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as someone who has done both alcohol and pot, i wouldnt recommend specially if you're not feeling well....
mariajuana makes you feel lazy, which tbh makes you feel a sad, so it doesnt help, people who say marijuana helps ease pain they're not refering to emotional pain, sometimes they use it for medical reasons like physical pain , so in your case i would not recommend it , or in any case but im telling you it will make you feel even worst, and when the effect passes you'll feel the same , so it is not a temporary or definite solution, by feeling lazy you tend to feel sad, like not wanting to do anthing, now imagine feeling extremly lazy while being depressed? it will make you feel MORE depressed
i went through a phase of sadness aswell...and i can tell you doing alcohol and smoking its the worst you can do under this circumstances, you have to find something that gives you some sort of motivation or keeps your mind from thinking of all the sadness, my recommendation would be to take some kind of class or something you enjoy, but to be honest what helped me more was excercice, i am not a big fan of doing sports, of any kind, but i forced myself into going to the gym running etc. doing this kind of activities makes you produce endorphines, which make you feel happy ! not like SUPER happy but you feel better, endorphines cause that effect on people, look it up if you want,
if your depression is chronic or something you should keep seein a therapist, and maybe they will give you some medication if its REALLY a big issue, mine i found my way to fix it by excercising, but for example my brother suffered from serious depression like literally he would sleep all day, not eat, miss school, etc...so his therapist prescribed him some stuff, which helped him going through that phase, he was extremly depressed and suicidal sometimes... i dont wanna seem dramatic but he had some bad teenage years he really wanted to kill himself run away of the house from time to time etc... but as usual what really helped was keeping himself busy, he has an interest in politics so he started getting into groups and stuff and now hes doing much better no need for medication
also if i might recommend you something else theres something that helped my brother ALOT with his problem, he suffers from OCD that caused his depression and suicidal phase when he was a teenager, he went into some sort of technic that is realted to budhism (i know it sounds crazy) but this technic helps you deal with pain in life and to accept some aspects about your life, it doesnt mean you have to become a budhist or anything , but mediation helps alot of these people people who were there were peopel with this problems people who just had no meaning in their lifes and were depressed, suicidal, doing drugs, etc.... so you might want to check it out [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) this is just an example but you might find other ways of meditation like with a group etc that teach you how to do it etc.... if you wanna give it a shot..
so bottom line id say try doing sports, it might be difficult at first if you dont enjoy them, but you will feel happier everytime you do it and after it, try learning something focusing on stuff force yourself to get into some kind of group or something that might keep you busy so this way you will stop thinking about whatever is that is keeping you so depressed and suicidal, go to a therapist if you feel it will help you maybe you actually need medication, or give mediation a shot, read about it you wont regreat it. everyone has their own way to cope with this problems, mine was keeping myself busy doing sports taking classes learning stuff , other people use running to help them with depression, my brother did, and medication, and meditation, he is so much better now. not perfect tho as i am aswell but we are both so MUCH better .
if you feel you need to talk to someone you can contact me , i understand what its like to feel alone while you're all depressed. so feel free to contact me if you want to just talk or something i hope you listen to my advice cause i know i didnt suffer from that kind of depression of feeling like wanting to cut myself...or something like that...but i understand it, because i live with someone who had chronic depression.
id be a hypocrite to tell you not to drink or smoke ever, cause i do them but i do them for different reasons, not as some sort of escape, so please listen to me,,, with what i can tell you're going through i would NOT recommend doing them, it will make you feel worst, its a depressent of course when you're doing it under difference cricumstances like drinking in college etc having fun then its normal and wouldnt have this effect, but the way you want to do it...will make you more depressed , so please don't do it what i told you could actually be a solution, this are not, think about it this way....
when you smoke or get drunk...its like ....you have this huge problem or whatever youre going through and feel extremly sad...you go to bed and sleep...and you dont feel it anymore..however ..when you wake up, the same feeling will be there, same situation, so sleeping didn't really helped you get over it right?...is the SAME thing when you want to do drugs and alcohol as a way to solve problems.
i hope you get better and i really mean if if you want to talk to someone i think i would be a good option, im 21 years old which means older than you and i know what you're going through.
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about the comment you wrote on feedback i dont know how else to message you
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ok so i do think you should tell your therapist about cutting, i dont see why you havenet told your therapist this, because its very important so she knows how serious the situation is. i dont think you should take meds if you don't need them,this is gonna sound stupid but trust me everything you take damages your body even meds thats why its not recommended if really not needed besides the side effects
also did you know that taking medications while you drink its a big NO?it causes damage to your liver more than the damage you would get by just drinking or just meds, doing both at the same time can cause with certain medication damage even to your heart. so if you like drinking and smoking and you want to start taking meds you should know that you have to do one or the other one but not combined cause the meds used as antidepressents are strong, and maybe you wont see the damage now or months or a year, but when you're a bit older you will see the damage..my brother couldnt drink while he was on meds also it can have bad side effects, so he stopped while he was on meds, any kind of medication combined with alcohol is a big no...
don't think about taking meds just because you want to feel super happy, if you really need them given your circumstances your doctor will prescribe them, make sure to tell your therapist things as they are, it doesnt matter if you tell her you drink and smoke to ease your pain etc and that youre underage, i mean of course it matters but she needs to know this , dont worry about her telling your parents since theres a confidentiality thing between therapist and patient so to get a better diagnosed and so she can help you, tell her everything, my advice would be if you want to keep doing what you're doing drinking and smoking don't get into meds, but also what is your priority? getting better or having fun drinking and smoking? think about it.
anti depresants are not gonna make you more depressed the thing is this medicine affect the way you feel while you're under the effect of it , its like saying...if you're drinking you will feel super happy maybe then when the effect fades,,you're back to the same, its the same thing with anti depresents, thats why my brother found a better solution than taking meds because this is just a temporary fix,
i think you're on the right path with all you're telling me you're doing to get bettter and i really hope it works for you! i dont know if maybe you're expecting tooo much..but to be honest i dont think people feel SUPER HAPPY haha its just about being content or ok with your life i think, you dont have to feel happy all the time or never feel sad, its normal maybe you should try to find what is making you wanting to cut yourself there must be something that is causing all of that depression. so go to the root of the problem :) and about taking meds only do it if your therapist suggests it but tell her everything that you're doing now including the cutting and drinking and smoking, maybe you actually need medication and it might help, or maybe you don't even need them :) don't get stuff into your body that are not needed like that kind of strong medication,
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Alcohol is a depressant.
Marijuana is a depressant.
Both will mess with your mood. They will not make things better. In fact, using Thirteen as an example... aren't drugs and alcohol what made her go off the deep end? (Love that movie, by the way)
Look, I've been through some messed up stuff and I know what it's like to want to self-medicate. It doesn't help. If therapy alone isn't cutting it, ask your therapist for a referral to a psychiatrist who can evaluate you for legal medication.
Yes, pain sucks. It's no fun to have to deal with the past. Drugs are not the way out of it. It's not 'normal' to start at any age.
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