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I am just giving u more information about my previous question .
YES my parents are abusive. They have said before if they find out i am still with him that they will send me back to egypt. Mostly everything planned and i told my bf that he would be waiting outside my house at that time. And i would already have all my things packed and in his car when i tell my parents. With my brothers thou they already know him very well and they love him to death and i told them when i leave that they would keep contact with me and they promised me they will and love me very much. 9 and 14 is there age. i know that i should not be getting married at 18. But i need to leave this house. My parents abuse me and don't let me go out much at all. Only school and staying after school since my mom made me quit my job because my uncle saw me smoking a cig. I am not close with my mom at all. she tells my dad everything i would tell her and she is so fake with me. yes i have my american citizen i been here since i was a little girl. But i go to egypt almost every summer to see the rest of my family down there.
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Well it's good you've planned this far in advance, also good that your brothers get it.
Citizenship is good. Make damn sure of that, get your papers in order and have a file with all of the things that prove you belong in America and put it in a safe deposit box at a bank where your family can't possibly get ahold of it. If you can, do this before you tell them you're moving out.
Second suggestion, get your stuff out before the confrontation. If you're a senior in high school, I don't feel any hesitation in telling you to skip a day if you think you can get time at your home alone. If you have a computer, get it out before they know. If you have anything important to you that you don't want held hostage or possibly destroyed, get it out before you go. You should be able to walk out of the house with nothing but the clothes on your back and your cell phone when you are ready to leave and to tell them. By this, I mean get it out of the house while they aren't there. You might have already planned this, you might not have, wasn't sure from what you said.
In a pinch, once you are 18 the local cops should be perfectly willing to stand there and watch you move your things out. My wife went though this, she got kicked out of the house with nothing but her pajamas she was wearing at 17, the cops came back with her to get her stuff and make sure her mother didn't stop her or try anything else. Call the station and ask, always know stuff like that for sure.
Third, money. What are you going to do about it? Being alone at 18 with little job history and no support is incredibly difficult. Start looking into job opportunities now, even if just online. Familiarize yourself with job sites, sign yourself up for monster.com and learn how to make a resume so that you can present yourself well to prospective employers.
With money comes school after high school. Talk to school counselors, figure something out. I highly, highly recommend you look into some kind of job training program. My wife and I are poor, so she's taking a two year degree program that will get her into the medical industry at a job that will make us enough money to live off of while we pursue higher education. Consider looking into things like physical therapy assistant, medical billing and coding, nursing, or do some research into other fields where you can get a short two year degree and come out the other side making yourself enough money to live off of just supporting yourself in your own apartment with no help from anyone else. Again, school counselors can help with this.
Fourth, Egypt. You need to figure out whether or not you can go back. I don't know the customs, the laws there. I don't know what rights you have as a woman. I don't know if your family there could hold you hostage and if you could get yourself freed by law, if the American embassy would do anything to help, etc. These are things you need to know before you go back. Might not be a problem at all, might be a way to end up trapped in another country. Do your research and find out for sure.
Last...
I believe in preparing for every eventuality. Every single one. That, to me, includes the possibility that your parents will pull up roots and take both of your brothers back to Egypt to prevent them from being able to do anything like what you did.
Talk to the 14 year old before you go. Tell him not to fight your parents. Tell him that if he decides when he's your age that he wants to do the same thing that he needs to lay low, not rock the boat, and keep the house as peaceful as possible until he's ready to make his escape. Make your exit as quiet as possible. Don't get into a discussion. Tell your parents what you're doing and why, if they start screaming just leave. Don't let your exit turn the house into Armageddon, just exit and if you want to write your parents a letter explaining yourself in full later.
Once you leave do not go back inside that house. If they want to see you make them meet you in public. Make sure they don't get the opportunity to do anything you think they might to compromise your safety.
Really last...
If you truly have citizen ship and no visa issues, don't get married yet. I don't care if it's against your religion, if you have to sleep on the couch while your boyfriend sleeps in his bed, do it. If you have to resist mighty temptations not to stray sexually past where you want to go, do it. Don't get married at 18 unless you have to to stay in the country.
Your parents ultimately do not matter. Yeah, maybe you being married would turn them from impotent rage at your disobedience as well as moral outrage at what they might see as promiscuity into just rage at disobedience.
It isn't worth marrying at 18 a guy who you are honestly going to cling to purely out of a need for stability.
If you decide to ignore that advice, that's perfectly within your rights. I don't know your relationship, maybe this guy is the right guy and you'll stay happily married. Your call. But don't bind yourself to someone if the primary reason is to just make sure your parents and/or family don't think you've turned into a slut or something.
In doing this you are separating yourself from them and the culture that makes them think they have a right to decide who you marry. Don't let their opinions of what's right or wrong for you dictate your actions ever again.
And again, if you have any further questions, anything you just need to talk about, anything you want help with that you have no idea who else to ask, post it up and I'll do the best I can. I don't check this site every day, so if it takes a bit for me to get to or I don't answer in 24 hours, you'll hear from me at some point.
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