i'm 22 f and recently got married to my husband 24 m we are trying to have a baby but i've had two misscarages already and the last one was rather bad. i'm on bed rest for the rest of the week. this is scaring my husband i'm scared that he won't want to try again. he doesn't really want to talk about it anymore. he avoids the subject of children all together. my sister in law has a 2 year old son and the other day i was playing with him on the carpet. i looked up and my husband was smileing at me. he leaned down and whispered that i looked like a mom with him. so i'm very confused what can i say to him on the subject. how do i approch the subject of children without upseting him please help.
Though it's not something people bring up or focus on much, a hopeful father going through these disappointments can have it almost as rough as you do emotionally. If he's shutting down in regards to this, it's a sign that he's really messed up about it.
A counselor will be better at figuring out how to get him to talk about what's going on with him than you will. Guys have egos, and self images. He's supposed to be the strong one, he's supposed to be the one supporting you, he probably feels like his own mental anguish is somehow a weakness on his part. These things are pretty common in situations like yours.
A counselor will know how to say what needs to be said to get him to open up. Give it a shot, if you need to approach him with the idea from a "I'd like to talk to a professional and I'd like you in the room for support and outside input" perspective. [ WittyUsernameHere's advice column | Ask WittyUsernameHere A Question ]
orphans answered Monday February 28 2011, 3:33 pm: you should sit him down and talk about it. dont start with we need to talk, becasue if you do he will shut down and not listen. make sure you tell him how bad you want kids. maybe you could go to the doctor and see if there is anything else in the way of you not having a baby. plus you are only 22 take time to enjoy life and marriage!!! [ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.