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Sex Too Soon
There's a guy that I really like, but there's a problem. I had sex with him way too soon, as in the first date. We knew each other from high school and it was the night before he left for 5 months (He's in the military). I stayed in contact with him for the entire time he's been gone so far (1 month). Things aren't where I want them to be. He tells me he thinks about me and he likes me, but other than that he's not really affectionate. He doesn't call me "baby" or anything and I always text/call him first. He's coming back home for the weekend. We've planned on spending the night he gets back together...but I want to take that back. I want to be more than his friend, and right now I feel like I'm just a sex buddy. Should I try to talk to him about slowing down and changing things or should I just stop talking to him?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Retracting what is already done is hard--and often not possible. However, you ALWAYS have the opportunity to speak your true feelings. So, that is exactly what you should do. Tell him that you are looking forward to getting to seem him again and would like to spend quality time getting to know one another better. When you do get that chance, just be honest and said I really like you and want to take things slow because I could see a relationship with you. If you aren't looking for something similar (IE: just want a sex buddy) I don't think I'm that girl. He may not like what you have to say; however, he may! Either way, you won't be mad or regret being honest about your feelings. And remember, never allow others to pressure you into doing anything you aren't ready to do. The choice is YOURS. :)
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We've all been through similar situations but he clearly is interested in you which is a good sign.
The first thing you have to ask yourself before going any further is whether or not youre prepared to potentially become serious with a man in the military? He will be constantly training when he's not deployed, when he is deployed he'll be away for long periods of time, he could develop psychological or physical issues and he wont be around so much. Before anything you need to consider this first.
Not to mention when you commit yourself to the military its not something you do lightly. If youre risking your life for a job then it has to be very important to you. For many of these men, their job comes first.
Your initial instincts were right. Take this chance while he's here and talk to him about the both of you. What you expect from eachother be it friendship or otherwise as well as the reality of your situation. You'll never solve anything without communication.
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