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My friend is hurting... how do I help her?
my friend (16/f) cheated on her boyfriend at some point when they were going out and he recently found out and dumped her. i want to comfort her and be a good friend, but i don't know what to say to make her feel better. i've tried all the basics; "give him time, try to talk to him, apologize, don't worry about it, first days the hardest," etc. but she's still a mess. she was there for me when i was going through a breakup, but the difference between now and then was that my breakup wasn't my fault, the dude i was with just lost interest and it shocked me. this was her fault. she cheated on him with his best friend and thought he'd never find out. (i just found out about it, as well. she pretty much lied to everyone) i told her she messed up big time, but i don't feel like nagging her until she heals more. what should i do/say?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Best friend duties when your friend is going through a break up are hard, even harder when the break up was her fault! And as a best friend, you must stay by your friends side, but you must also let her know when was she did wasn't okay! Example uno: your friend! Cheating is not okay, and making someone think that it's okay, is definitely not okay. Both you and your friend need to remember that she hurt him first! By all means, she deserves to be hurt and messed up, but here's where best friends jump in! All you can really do is be there for her. She needs to cry, she needs to hurt, she needs to get it all out of her system! And then, she needs to realize what she did wrong, and you have to make sure all those things happen(especially that last part)! So when she's crying, give her one tissue after the other, when she's hurting, hold her, when she wants to stress eat, get her ice cream, when she wants to yell, yell with her, when she wants to punch things, armor yourself with pillows and when she's ready to talk, tell her what she needs to know!
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A person can only help themselves. She made her bed and now she must lie in it. As a friend the best thing you can do is let her know you're there for her be it to talk, distract her or just to sit and do nothing with.
If she doesnt want to talk just give her some space and check in with her from time to time just to tell her that youre still there for her.
She has to go through this emotional process before she can move on. We all make mistakes and we all suffer for them but it's how we learn.
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