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Yearning for motherhood?
I am a 19 year old female from the East Coast. I am from a middle-class family and I attend one of the most prestigous business schools on the coast. I have multiple part time jobs, but have no financial strains.
I have been dreaming about having a child for a year and a half now. Frankly, it's more than dreamining, its yearning. I so badly want to be the mother to my own child. From June 2009-March2010, I was with the same man who shared the same desire for a child. We've since seperated and I've been with another man since October 2010. He and I are very compatible and we are doing very well in our relationship.
My problem: I want a child very badly, but I know that at 19 years old, I should be focusing on my youth. My parents always told me that they would suport me if I were to ever get pregnant, but I fear that due to my young age, I would not be a suitable mother to my child.
My boyfriend always said that he would support myself and the child if I were to ever become pregnant. He is 24 years old. (FYI: There is no way I would ever sabotage our sex life to get pregnant; it would be an agreed decision.)
Please, share your advice and opinions.
Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
coming from a 20 year old mother,i beg you to WAIT!I wanted the same exact thing..i told myself I wanted to be a mom and that it would be easy.I was SO WRONG!You have no time to yourself,your life is no longer about you but about your child.It really is a struggle no matter how much money you have,especially being young..emotionally!Especially is you are a stay at home mom,you do the same things everyday.Trust when i say this..wait!Get your life together first..go to school or get a full time job.Spend time with friends and live up your youth because you dont get these years back.
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First let me tell tell you I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I say this as the advise I will offer is based on the wisdom of age.
You are not the first young lady to write this type of letter. Many young women feel their true destiny is to be a mother and homemaker. There is nothing wrong with this feeling. At 19 you are certainly old enough to become a mother and homemaker. The question is what kind of life will you make for your child being a young parent.
A half century ago a women was expected to marry early, stay at home and raise a family. Today that is not possible for most families. Both adults must work in order to afford a good life for themselves and their children. To afford things like the prestigious business schools you are attending.
I'm fairly certain you have heard this in one form or another from your parents; the better your education, the better life you can lead. I'll modify that to mean you should work at a job you enjoy not just a job that pays well that you do not enjoy. For all the money in the world does not buy happiness. You have to enjoy what you are doing to be happy. If that means collecting the trash then so be it.
My advice: Finish your education, as a good education will open many doors. Then have your family. You will be better able to support your children with a good education as a foundation regardless of how you use that education.
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You are 19 years old, In business school and have been dating for ONLY 4 months.
I honestly think you should wait, You are doing well at this point in time and you have a lot of years ahead of you for a child. You have only been in a relationship for 4 months and I have to agree with Matt...You are not ready. Babies are cute, They are the most precious gifts we could have but in the long run it takes a lot of work, responsibility and commitment. You and your boyfriend can say you are responsible, committed and ready but in the long run trust me you are better off waiting. You said your family would support you, Of course they aren't going to neglect their daughter but lets think about the situation this would be YOUR responsibility not theres. It would be unfair to the child to have one now, You aren't ready.
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While you're yearning for motherhood, I'm yearning that you'll snap out of it and use the brain that got you into business school.
This is clearly a bad idea. You have no financial strains because you're 19 and are supported by your parents/loans/whatever. So that pretty much discounts any semblance of an argument of you being financially suitable for the raising of a child.
You've been with this guy for what? A whopping four months, tops. When he says he'll support you (assuming that's even true; how many girls have met a guy that says he won't support them if they get pregnant?) he's saying that if he does end up knocking you up, he'll stick around. In no way is he saying "hey, babe! Let's throw our youth away and resent each other the rest of our lives and have a kid!"
That is my advice and opinion. Don't have a kid because you're in absolutely no condition to raise one.
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