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Long Distant Relationship problems
Okay, I'm sorry if this is long, or complicated I just need some advice. So I guess I'll start from the beginning then:
So it started in fall of 2009. I met this incredible guy on facebook... ( family friend knew him, not a complete stranger or anything) We didn't talk or anything, maybe comment on each others status's occasionally and then birthday's. Then I had some health problems and he was really nice during it. So a while passed and summer began. Around June we started talking a LOT .. like all the time just about anything. Then in the end of June we started dating. Again talked ALL the time about absolutly everything, our future, each other. It was amazing. We visited each other and everything.
Well apparently his mom found some of our IMs that she didn't approve of and I will admit we did mess up and talked a little to much about somethings we shouldn't. She doesn't like me, thinks I listen to bad music and that I'm a bad influence on him.
Now we get a limited time to talk, like it even matters because she reads everything!!! I feel like I'm talking to her. I can't talk about my music, or school, or heck no on our future. Idk what to do. Its so frustrating. I Love him but I just don't know if I can do this much longer... what would you do, or what do you suggest for me to do.. please I am so confused
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okay its okay if its long i have no problem with that at all as long as your heard and getting the advice you need. try talking to the mother about the situation and how you feel, i'm sure your a good person show her that your different then other girls. make sure she understands and have her tell you how she feels after you get your point across.don't let her interupt you cause once she interups she might turn the whole conversation around. if that doesn't work let me know what happens and i will assist you again. the best way possible.
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Well first of all i must say you are not alone at all. I totally understand what you are going through cause i am as well. Well...his sister has actually red some of our ims...that were kinda dirty. hes sister dislikes me at all, just because of the fact of someone likin her brother. Her and him do not get along at all and shes tried to tell me things about him to get ride of me. but im not going anywhere. his mother on the other hand...differnt story. I actually think that his whole family hates the idea of us talking. because we are on the computer so much for eachother talking on skype. his mom i think highly dislikes the face that hes on the computer so much with me and he doesnt get chores or other things she wants done. Iv actually heard arguments of him and his mom about me on skype..and i can tell you its not a good feeling. In your situation i understand because you have no privacy. Privacy in a realtionship is essiential. Youll just have to watch what you say i guess. Maybe text eachother more if you have phones then delete your messages so she cant read them. But since you guys do see and visit eachother it should be fine, becausee then you can talk to eachother about everything you wanted to before but couldnt.
I use to have no pravicy with my man because he shared his computer with his sis. and she would always be on giving us no pravicy nore time to talk to eachother. But months later she got a lap top and its been great. When you say she reads everything, im assuming shes reading after you guys are done or over his shoulder? so in that case you might have to be a bit sneeky. When my man and i are talking about something intimate or what not, then one of us has to leave we move the coversation up, such as on like msn and keep pressing "r" to move it up or something like that so noone reads it. You can also delete your history on msn, and skype. fb chat you can delete also if you "x" out of the coversation and press on his name again.
We also have limited time to talk but youll just have to accept it and do the best you can. Trust me it will get better. His mom highly dislikes me as well. so you are not alone. being in a long distance relationship is very fustrating and it is the hardest thing i have ever done in my entire life. If you love him, and i mean truly love him, you will do anything and everything to be with him. I know it is so hard and you feel like you cant go on any longer, but you have to decide for yourself if he is truly worth all your time and efforts. If he is the one you want to spend the rest of your days with, if you would do anything for him. If these are a definant no, then i would suggest to end the relationship now, better then later.
You will have to earn his moms trust by talking to him and being careful of what you say. You will have to also respect her and her wishes of the time limit and what not. I know this is all very fustrating. But it will get better trust me.
If i was in your situation, i would just deal with it. I would just accept the terms and work with what i have, better talking with him for an hour rather then not at all. Just talk to him about everything like you do, about all your feelings on the situation and maybe get him to talk to his mom and suggest she back off a bit and give you guys pravicy because you deserve it. Let him know all your concerns of the situation and then he can tell his mom and hopefully she will grant you some pravicy. Hang in there. Times get so tuff, but you just have to work through them together, it will make your realtionship stronger. TRUST ME. All i can suggest to you is, to talk to him a bout it, and get him to talk to his mom to help out the situation. if say she still doesnt, just work with what you have and hang on to those questions, topics you want to talk to him about until you visit eachother. Be alittle sneeky lol
Hope i helped out with some concerns you had. Hang in there. Your def not alone. Just think about the reasons why you are in this relationship with him to help you. Write it down in a diary to get your fustrations out (i do this so that i dont over flow him with concerns and worries about me). Good LUCK!! hope i helped. If you have any more questions hit me up.
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Well you need to honestly talk to her! I know it sounds impossible but you need to tell her how you feel! Tell her you love her son and that your sorry she disapproves but her son loves you for you! You shouldn't have to change! Tell her how you make her son happy and that she wouldn't want to take that away from him! You can't help it! The heart wants what the heart wants you know?
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