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should i give up on my ex?
ok please read and help me out i am an emotional wreck
ok so my ex bf broke up with me in may of 2009 because of his parents were criticizing us. i guess he basically let them choose for him. we were together for 2 years. he is just as much a part of my life still as he was when we were together surprisingly. it was very hard to still remain friends i pushed my self to overcome that great struggle. i am confused wether or not how i really feel about him. for almost a year i tried so many ways to get back with him with little success. little things happend between us but i just dont see it as a big deal anymore because i dont know if it really means anything at all. i feel like im not getting anywhere with him kind of like im going in circles. he is not very good to me. he hurts me he calls my names in front of people. but then i just feel the urge to hang out with him. then yet he flirts with me when were alone and acts like he has feelings for me. last year i stopped trying to get back with him and im just going with the flow. i am open to other boys to i actually want someone that would be better. that would treat me good and with respect. but i still am open for him to ever come back. but the problem is now is that he might move to far to where i will barely ever get to see him mabye only once or twice a week. i am upset by this i feel like he doesnt care either. but im not getting anywhere with him anyways like i said its always the same pattern he hurts me he flirts then back to the same mean thing. i am not sure. should i let go ? i know i deserve better because he wasnt very good to me even when we were together but we had our good moments. is he worth my time and what should i think about this. i am also afraid that i might never find someone else. please help me
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Hey there,
Some of what you have said sounds very familiar to me. You say you feel like you are going in circles, he hurts you, then he flirts and makes his way back into your life. That isn't a very good cycle. If he hurts you and you know it, why would you go back to him? I guess you know the answer to that. I am glad that you tried to see if there was someone else out there for you. Obviously you havn't been able to, which is why you keep going back to him. He isn't treating you right, he may be moving away, and you know you wish you had a better guy. I think you answered your own question right there. I believe you should let him go because the way you describe the situation, it sounds as if you are only going to get more hurt by all this. I know what it is like to have good moments with someone, but they just aren't the person for you. Maybe you are just meant to be good friends.
I dated this guy for awhile and things were going great, until he chose his sport over me. I had appreciation for what he liked, but he got a little too into it. I think about him all the time, how he treated me well, but we just didn't mesh and so it was best for me to move on. I havn't found anyone else since. BUT, I do believe it was best for us since we too were just going in circles getting nowhere. It wasn't worth the time.
Point is, you can't spend your life on one guy hoping that he will come back if he is not going to love you as much as he should. Also you shouldn't have to worry that he won't hurt you in the long run. I wondered for a long time if my guy misses me as I miss him. So I asked him. He said he doesn't. In my heart I knew he wasn't for me and I think you know too. Girls have good intuition. Some guys will just say that they won't miss you and they do... but for the most part, they really won't. Unless you have a phenominal guy, you are wasting your time.
I have taken breaks and stayed away to find out for myself if a guy really cared as well. Only you will know if your guy is really wanting to be there for you. I think he is just holding onto you cuz he knows you won't want to let go. If you think you can deal with the differences and zip codes, I believe you can make it work. If you know in your heart you should find someone else, then that is what you should do. Only you can decide what is best. Once you stop searching, you will find another guy out there; they show up when you least expect it. It takes time and patience. I honestly have to say, time is killing me right now... But in the end, you will know it was worth it when that perfect guy comes along <3
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You have just answered your own question. The only thing keeping you from completely letting him go is your past feelings for him.
You can still be friends with him if you'd like but you know he doesnt treat you well and seems to be playing some game with you. It's not right. And if he cared for you as much as you want him to then he would have tried to make amends a long time ago. Instead, it is you doing all of the work!
You can do better and there definitely are guys out there who will treat you better. There's plenty more fish in the sea and im sure you'll have a few partners before you find the one you really want to settle down with and make a life with as one united unit. Have fun with the guys youre gonna be with and dont waste your time and emotions on people who make you feel like nothing.
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