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Money coming between close friends
I have been living with some very close friends I consider family for the past year,
under a verbal agreement of $200/month for my room and $100/ month for my horse to stay in the pasture they have behind the house along with their horses.
Long story short, I lost my job an was unable to pay the full amount every month.
I still made payments to them every month ranging bettween 100- 325. I decided since I owe them money(about 2000 all together)I would sell
my saddle for $750 and my horse for $3000 to pay my debt. I have since moved out of their house so not to accrue anymore debt. A few days ago they
called me and told me they were putting a lien on my saddle, and that they will do the selling of it.(after I had made flyers and listed it on ebay) They also
instructed me that I still owed the full $2000 and that my horses board would be costing an extra $100 a month. Then today I recieved a call from them saying that
they have a "partial lien" on my horse.( no legal paper work has been filed for any of this). Also that if anyone is to come look at the horse that is still for sale
they must be there and the horse may not leave the property to be tryed out by potential customers. If the horse does need to leave the property to be tried out
I will have to pay for them to ship it. I offered them my horse in exchange for my debt. They said they did not want the horse. They "dont think it is even worth $2000, but are thinking about
getting it appraised and having me pay for it" ( which I know they really can't do)
I feel as though I am in an impossible situation to liquidate the only assets I have to pay off my debt, when they are being
withheld from me by the people I owe. I dont want this to escalate anymore than it has. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
These are friends? Gee, with friends like that, who needs enemies? I wonder if there is more to this story. However, since there is no way for me know, I can only tell you what I know. I am a homeowner and I rent the property, so I've had just a little experience with situations like this. 1. Since you have no written agreement, they have no legal standing to hold your things. They are still yours. 2. Did you leave the horse there when you left (sounds like you went far away)? If so, they do have a right to ask for boarding expenses. And any expenses pertaining to selling the horse should be yours to bear. It IS your horse. You say you are still making payments. That's good. Listen, this is a good lesson in personal economics. ALWAYS have a written agreement when it comes to financial exchanges, no matter how close you are with the other party. Because things happen and then feelings get hurt. I think you need to have an open discussion with these people. I can't be sure, but it sounds to me like you took off when things got weird (thinking you'd ease the burden on you AND your friends) and they felt like you were abandoning your promises. Maybe you haven't been clear enough about your situation. You have to make it clear that you intend to pay your debts and take care of your responsibilities. So the FIRST thing you need to do is to write out a simple contract stating the amount you will pay toward your debt each month, and when that payment will be sent. It can be as simple as you writing it out on a piece of paper and signing it. Nothing fancy, but its binding if you sign it and send it through the mail. Then honor it. You'll also have to add in the boarding expenses. The other thing you need to do is have the horse appraised. So make arrangements (it IS your expense, they are right about that) and find out how much it is worth. Once you know, you can see if you can make an exchange for it on your debt, at least to pay down part of it, if not all of it. The real point is, even though you fell on hard times, you still had an obligation to meet the promises you made to your friends. Their attitudes make me wonder if you maybe left them with the impression that you were taking advantage of their kindness. Since they were the ones who helped you in the first place, it is your responsibility to set this right. I think a nice note or phone call explaining that to them and apologizing for anything you've done to lose their trust would go a long way to easing their minds and giving you a little time to get it together. Its hard times for everyone. They may seem like they are doing fine, financially, but they may actually be making it month to month like everyone else, and the help they offered you may now be a burden to them. If things get worse, find a lawyer, but I do believe you can take care of this yourself with a little hard work and self-awareness. Good luck.
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