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should i wait or move on?
19-f
so me and my now ex boyfriend broke up august of 2010. he broke up with me and it really broke my heart. we didnt talk for weeks and i did was cry. we are now talking again and i still love him sooo much. he is the only guy to have met my 1 year old daughter and he adores her. i really want to be with him again but he says he wants to wait because we live too far apart. but it never bothered him before when we were going out. we live about and hour and a half car drive away. i dont talk to any other guys and he doesnt talk to any other girls but we are not together like i want. its tearing me apart knowing he isnt mine because he has my heart. what should i do? wait for something that might not happen or try to move on?
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Pulling from the previous advice post, the part about your ex's possible (and probably dominant) concern about the distance between the two of you and the affects it may have with and on you and your daughter is legitimate. If that is his reasoning behind his decision to break-up with you... it means that's he cares about you and her well-being beyond the intimate relationship you two share(d). As it may be painful, it is a good thing. "IF" indeed that's his reasoning behind the separation....
As for your love for him...
If he's has your heart, he has your heart. Distance or the intimacy and knowlegde you crave will not change that. If indeed this aspect of your feelings are really true.
Also, this is a situation where moving on doesn't necessary mean that there will not be future attempts to rekindle the relationship you once shared.
If he's an honorable man, then his intentions behind he decision "should" bring you peace... in the sense that he didn't break-up with you because ya'll were having problems...
Have you introduced methods to remain in constant contact with him via internet and video chats? Although...... that definitely brings me to another concern that may be pestering him.....
If you two were intimate sexually, understand.... people like to have sex... OFTEN (@ least daily if they can)(I'm sure you are aware of this).. and driving a hour and a half to get some EVERY TIME you have an urge for sex IS DEFINITELY something that will become stressful. Especially, if schedules collide and "he" does the primary commuting. Unless one (or both) of your are interested in moving in with each other on the other hand, considering your daughter, your professions and the lives you would have to leave may not be the commitment... that's in mind for the moment.
Make the call best for you
Best wishes.
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Unless you two have serious living commitments, I would focus on trying to move on with your life. An on and off relationship is not healthy for you or your daughter and as a mother you set an example and you don't want your daughter around someone who isn't going to be in the picture. The truth, Long distant relationships are extremely stressful and hard to maintain. I was in one for several years and the drive was also an 1 1/2. You don't want people to come and go in your life and now that you have a daughter it wouldn't be fair for her to get attached to someone and then have them disappear out of her life as well. If the guy doesn't think it would be a good idea to be together because of the distance..I hate to tell you that he is probably right. I know it is a painful process but you need to do what is right for you and your daughter. If you hold yourself back you miss out on possibilities.
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