|
my sister betrayed me
I am 18 and my sister is 16. In a weak moment, I told her what I had done with my ex boyfriend sexually. (It was right after he and I broke up, and my sister asked me what I had done with him sexually. I told her.) My boyfriend and I dated for over a year; we didn't have sex, but I did give him a hand job in my living room on a rare occasion when he slept over one night.
My sister ended up telling my mom and my younger brother this information months later when she was mad at me...which would be what happened today. This may not seem like a big deal, but I am ashamed that she would betray my trust, and at the secret I told her itself. I would like to think of myself as a pretty innocent girl, and this is why this behavior is considered uncharacteristic of me to my mom and brother, although it is probably very normal among teenage couples. I was not really sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but I felt pressured to satisfy him since we were together for so long. My sister didn't tell my mom and brother this info. because it made her uncomfortable- no, she told on me to try and make herself look better, and to try and get me in trouble and use it against me, although I told her in confidence that she wouldn't tell anyone.
How do I handle this situation with my mom, brother, and sister? I am ashamed at myself for trusting my sister, who has proven to be more immature than I thought she was. She has gone farther sexually than I have, yet she tried to make me look bad for a mistake of the past. She is only every concerned with me when she can get something out of the bargain, and she doesn't value our relationship as sisters. I am ready to disown her as my sister at this point.
My younger brother is 13, and when he heard what I had done with my ex boyfriend, he shunned me and is still acting like he wants nothing to do with me. My mom didn't say much, but I can tell she is disappointed in me, which is understandable. What should I do about this situation? I feel so guilty knowing that my family thinks less of me, and I am so angry at my sister for betraying me when she said she wouldn't tell anyone. I didn't realize until now that she probably only asked me what I had done to form blackmail to use later...
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
It may be true that she did that, and i am sorry that she crossed that line. I think you should confront her and tell her that you trusted her with the information you gave her, and you are very disappointed. Ask her what she got out of telling your family that. Satisfaction? What made her want to tell them so badly, So that she could get you in trouble and feel GOOD about her SELF? Its what my brother used to do with me. It is kind of a guilt thing and then it makes you feel bad about it. I am not saying make her feel like crap, just see what she says when she answers your questions. Also you could ask her what she would feel like if you went and told your parents what she has done sexually, it would probably make her feel embarrased..like you feel. Let her know you feel like that and you don't like it at ALL. If she says that she wouldn't care if you told them..well read my last method at the bottom. :) Tell your family what you said here...
"I was not really sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but I felt pressured to satisfy him since we were together for so long."
That will let them know that at least. Tell them that you know they are disappointed in you but it isn't like they have never done it before. Remind them that you are 18, still a virgin, but you are a girl. You have horamones just like everyone else and that you are proud of yourself for saying no to SEX up to this point. There may or may not have been times that you could have been in a situation that you could have gone into sexual activity but you didn't. If none of this works...
LAST RESORT: (mentioned above)
There is always the way of telling your parents what your sister has done, which is like revenge. *I* would personally feel like doing this but then again it makes you less of a person because you had to go down to her level. So i wouldn't necessarily suggest this one. But it may end up here.
I hope this helped a lot! :) please feedback and let me know what you think!!!! :D
If you need anything else at all, Please inbox me or e-mail me!
]
Hey,
I'm sorry about what you're sister did. It is so not cool, there are boundries in sister relationships, which is to never break trust. I'm not saying keep secrets from you're family, I'm just saying, be careful with who you trust.Think about who you tell and WHAT you tell. But trust me this will all blow over, your family will eventually realize they have to get over it,deal with and move on from it. Next time make her earn you're trust. Make her prove she will never tell a soul anything. I actually have a friend shes 16, and her sister is 20. Her older sister tells the 16 year old EVERYTHING. And the 16 year old has Never Ever told anyone anything, none of the secrets you can be told in 4 years. Even if they had the biggest fight, the young sister would never tell,because she'd never cross that line,however, the younger sister couldnt tell her older sister anything, not even the fact that she has a crush. Because she knows for a fact that her older sister will tell someone and go all "flip mode" for no reason and jump to conclusions. So the 16 year old never tells her sister any secrets,ever. The older one tells her all of them. What Im saying is Be cautious and think about the consequences that'll occur in the future, and think "will she tell someone". KNOW what kind of person you're little sister is and remember it whenever you tell her something, and you're family will move on and eventually deal with it, they can't disown their daughter! It looks bad right now but it will blow over. Good luck.
]
More Questions: |