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Does he want sex or something more?
Hi Kristen! This will probably be long but I really love your advice and would greatly appreciate if you could give your view on this situation.
I'm F-20 Ryan -19
I live in Minnesota & so does Ryan. One of my guy friends moved to South Dakota to play hockey. Me and a few friends went there about a month ago to watch him play and see him. I ended up seeing this super cute guy (Ryan) on his team. I told him to put in a good word for me. He ended up telling Ryan he was going to give me his number, Ryan was excited. Now, Ryan has never seen me in person I've only seen him. He did end up finding me on facebook and added me.
Well me and Ryan have been texting ever since I got his number. He said something like do you like to cuddle? And I was like haha yes. He was like I love cuddling its the best. I was like wow I'm impressed your like the first guy I've met that hasn't used sex and cuddle in the same sentence -or even cuddle at all. He was like yeah well I'm respectful and treat girls how they deserve to be treated.
So Ryan texts me EVERY time, I don't think I've ever texted him first. This is a big change, usually guys never text me first I always have to end up texting them. Me and Ryan talk almost every day and I feel so comfortable with him already. He said I was hot/pretty/cute -whatever ..from seeing my pictures. Well one night I got a little carried away and was really horny. It was probably like 3 in the morning and I was like I'm sure you would love what I was wearing right now ;) You don't even know how bad I want you, etc. (Hormones got over me)
Well just recently we were talking and he seemed different now. We were talking about how all the girls in South Dakota want Ryan because he's a hot hockey player. I was like so, tell me how you haven't hooked up with any girl there if they all want you. He said there is no girl worth his time there and there not even very cute and that he just focuses on hockey while he is there. I was like well I don't want you to think I'm holding you back, your not my boyfriend so you can do what you want. But I would be jealous if some girl you don't even want got to see you with your shirt off before me! He said: Yeah haha i know you would be but don't worry no girl here is gonna see me without a shirt. Then he said well tell me something, why do all the guys want you? Because I know every guy wants you. And I told him why guys have said they liked me. I was like "Ry, lets hook up my crazy guys and your crazy girls that want you so they leave us alone haha" He was like: "Alright sounds good, why don't we do the same?" I was like: "You mean why don't we hook up?" He said: "Yeah why don't we."
This caught me off-guard a little. Even though we have only been talking for a month, I could really see him as boyfriend potential. He didn't seem like someone who just wanted to hook up. But he showed a lot of interest in me before he even said it. When he asked why don't we hook up I said something like: "Well I never said we couldn't but ...I just can't. At least not the first time I see you. I've been there, done that and it was a horrible situation." And he was like "No I understand."
He still continues to text me almost every day. He is always saying how he wishes I was there with him while he is watching a scary movie. He knows I hate scary movies but he says he would protect me. Just cute things like that. He hasn't ever brought up sex, only the one time about hooking up. I feel I may have given the wrong impression the night I was horny. I just don't know if all he does is want to hook up, or if he is really interested in me.
What do you think? What do you think I should do?
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Hey! Sorry It took awhile for me to answer.
While I was reading this and got to the 3rd paragraph I was shocked. This is EXACTLY how my befriend and I started out! haha We talked for about two entire months through calls & texts before even meeting in person. But honestly, I think that was the best way it could have worked. It was so nice to know a guy was truly interested in me without even seeing me in person first...and obviously you can definitely relate to that.
Anyways. It's understandable your confused over the idea that he brought up "hooking up". Saying something along the lines of "Lets hook up" can be meant in several different ways. It depends on who is saying it and when/how it's said. It can mean just sex for the night, a steady date partner, or a regular relationship. Considering this guy has been talking to you everyday and texting you (before you even text him)really shows that he is into you. Think of it this way. He's a hockey player. He's hot. He's wanted by many girls. That given, he's obviously confident enough to get any girl in bed if he so desired. So if sex is what he really wanted, I'm sure he'd just go out and easily get a girl to do that with. He wouldn't keep talking to you every single day just to hook up whenever he could quickly just go out and find a girl. Nowadays, hook up can even mean to go out for lunch or a simple date, so I would not worry about that at all. Besides, I guarantee you that if it was meant to be sexual, he would bring it up more often instead of saying the cute/sweet things that he says.
If things are still going good for you two and you're still talking, you should definitely take the chance to meet him. There's a reason you two continued talking even though you didn't meet yet. As I had said, this is how my boyfriend and I started out. We've been together for almost 5 years..and now we're engaged! Don't worry about the whole hooking up deal. He's clearly interested in you..So I say go for it!
Good Luck & I Hope This Helped! (:
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