Hey! I'm Kristen. I've had an advicenators column awhile ago, but forgot my password to that account...so decided to make a new one! I'm 20 years old. I have awesome friends, a great family and an amazing boyfriend who I've been with for 4 years. I've definitely had my fair share of drama throughout my life-especially through my high schools years-but those experiences only made me a stronger person. That's what inspires me to be on this site and wanting to help people out any way possible on here.
I won't turn away any questions--And I won't sugarcoat anything. I'm here to help as best as I can. So ask away! (:
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania
Occupation: Student
Age: 20
Member Since: June 28, 2010
Answers: 15
Last Update: December 21, 2010
Visitors: 2886
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Hi Kristen! This will probably be long but I really love your advice and would greatly appreciate if you could give your view on this situation.
I'm F-20 Ryan -19
I live in Minnesota & so does Ryan. One of my guy friends moved to South Dakota to play hockey. Me and a few friends went there about a month ago to watch him play and see him. I ended up seeing this super cute guy (Ryan) on his team. I told him to put in a good word for me. He ended up telling Ryan he was going to give me his number, Ryan was excited. Now, Ryan has never seen me in person I've only seen him. He did end up finding me on facebook and added me.
Well me and Ryan have been texting ever since I got his number. He said something like do you like to cuddle? And I was like haha yes. He was like I love cuddling its the best. I was like wow I'm impressed your like the first guy I've met that hasn't used sex and cuddle in the same sentence -or even cuddle at all. He was like yeah well I'm respectful and treat girls how they deserve to be treated.
So Ryan texts me EVERY time, I don't think I've ever texted him first. This is a big change, usually guys never text me first I always have to end up texting them. Me and Ryan talk almost every day and I feel so comfortable with him already. He said I was hot/pretty/cute -whatever ..from seeing my pictures. Well one night I got a little carried away and was really horny. It was probably like 3 in the morning and I was like I'm sure you would love what I was wearing right now ;) You don't even know how bad I want you, etc. (Hormones got over me)
Well just recently we were talking and he seemed different now. We were talking about how all the girls in South Dakota want Ryan because he's a hot hockey player. I was like so, tell me how you haven't hooked up with any girl there if they all want you. He said there is no girl worth his time there and there not even very cute and that he just focuses on hockey while he is there. I was like well I don't want you to think I'm holding you back, your not my boyfriend so you can do what you want. But I would be jealous if some girl you don't even want got to see you with your shirt off before me! He said: Yeah haha i know you would be but don't worry no girl here is gonna see me without a shirt. Then he said well tell me something, why do all the guys want you? Because I know every guy wants you. And I told him why guys have said they liked me. I was like "Ry, lets hook up my crazy guys and your crazy girls that want you so they leave us alone haha" He was like: "Alright sounds good, why don't we do the same?" I was like: "You mean why don't we hook up?" He said: "Yeah why don't we."
This caught me off-guard a little. Even though we have only been talking for a month, I could really see him as boyfriend potential. He didn't seem like someone who just wanted to hook up. But he showed a lot of interest in me before he even said it. When he asked why don't we hook up I said something like: "Well I never said we couldn't but ...I just can't. At least not the first time I see you. I've been there, done that and it was a horrible situation." And he was like "No I understand."
He still continues to text me almost every day. He is always saying how he wishes I was there with him while he is watching a scary movie. He knows I hate scary movies but he says he would protect me. Just cute things like that. He hasn't ever brought up sex, only the one time about hooking up. I feel I may have given the wrong impression the night I was horny. I just don't know if all he does is want to hook up, or if he is really interested in me.
What do you think? What do you think I should do? (link)
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Hey! Sorry It took awhile for me to answer.
While I was reading this and got to the 3rd paragraph I was shocked. This is EXACTLY how my befriend and I started out! haha We talked for about two entire months through calls & texts before even meeting in person. But honestly, I think that was the best way it could have worked. It was so nice to know a guy was truly interested in me without even seeing me in person first...and obviously you can definitely relate to that.
Anyways. It's understandable your confused over the idea that he brought up "hooking up". Saying something along the lines of "Lets hook up" can be meant in several different ways. It depends on who is saying it and when/how it's said. It can mean just sex for the night, a steady date partner, or a regular relationship. Considering this guy has been talking to you everyday and texting you (before you even text him)really shows that he is into you. Think of it this way. He's a hockey player. He's hot. He's wanted by many girls. That given, he's obviously confident enough to get any girl in bed if he so desired. So if sex is what he really wanted, I'm sure he'd just go out and easily get a girl to do that with. He wouldn't keep talking to you every single day just to hook up whenever he could quickly just go out and find a girl. Nowadays, hook up can even mean to go out for lunch or a simple date, so I would not worry about that at all. Besides, I guarantee you that if it was meant to be sexual, he would bring it up more often instead of saying the cute/sweet things that he says.
If things are still going good for you two and you're still talking, you should definitely take the chance to meet him. There's a reason you two continued talking even though you didn't meet yet. As I had said, this is how my boyfriend and I started out. We've been together for almost 5 years..and now we're engaged! Don't worry about the whole hooking up deal. He's clearly interested in you..So I say go for it!
Good Luck & I Hope This Helped! (:
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Okay, im getting a new phone. I am between the droid x and the droid 2. I have no clue! What do you think??????? (link)
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All droid phones are great. I myself have the droid incredible and I LOVE it!
...check this site out, it should help you decide (:
http://www.tested.com/news/droid-vs-droid-2-vs-droid-x-motorolas-android-family/690/
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I turned on my laptop yesterday and a message came up saying it had a problem and it needed to do a system restore, but when it was trying to do it, it came up saying there was no recent restore point so it wouldn't do it. I've tried several times and still to no avail. I'm afraid that I am gonna lose all my music and pictures of my laptop. So my question is, "Is there any where I could send my laptop to so that they could get all my data back and put it onto a USB stick or DVD?" Is that possible? I don't mind about my laptop I just want my Data back. Thanks for the help :) (link)
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So, wait. Have you already done the system restore?
Let me know if you have already done it or not and I'll help you out!
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i lost the charger of digital camer czu-05000b and i have been looking for this for a long time now, please where i can buy it around germany here or is any subsitute for this charger (link)
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Ebay! They're super cheap, too (:
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i need a good summer diet.
i need to loose 20 pounds by august 29th
ive been doing
breakfast: juice from a juicer like beets apple carrots and an ice coffe
lunch: small froyo or eggwhite omelet with veggies
dinner- a protein
but i need more options
what u think..
any easier way to loose wight (dont say exercise) (link)
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Haha, you sound EXACTLY like me when it comes to saying "don't say exercise"!
Anyways, losing 20 pounds by the end of August is definitely possible-if you do it the right, healthy way. Cutting soda out of your diet completely can save the average person 360 calories or more each day. Even diet soda, fruit juices, and whole milk can add unnecessary calories to your daily intake. Instead, drink lots of water and switch from whole to skim or even soy milk; the little things can make a big difference! But water is your best choice. Not only will it help on losing weight,but it will also brighten your skins appearance.
Don't tell yourself that you can NEVER have something again because you will immediately crave it. People need to eat fats to be healthy as well, just make sure that you're eating them in moderation, and maybe try to balance out a fatty food you ate earlier in the day by choosing celery sticks over chips for your snack.
You may want to try something like a bagel for breakfast, this will keep you less hungry before your next meal..and you're metabolism will be faster. You lunch does sound yummy & healthy, I must say. Don't be afraid to try different foods. You don't want to sick tired of having an omelet everyday.
To me, exercising is running, jogging, lifting, ect. Taking a short walk, however isn't really a big deal for me. So, I'm definitely not going to tell you to exercise. But even going for a little walk, walking around the mall, taking the stairs instead of the elevator--those little things can help so much as long as you keep it up. You don't have to see them as those annoying, difficult "exercises".
I know I don't have many good tips for weight loss, but the advice that I DID give you definitely helped me out a lot. So drink your water, keep eating healthy and try out some of the things I mentioned above. You CAN lose 20 pounds, and you WILL lose 20 pounds!
Good luck!
-Kristen
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2010-06-24 17:28:11
12:18
So, where should I begin.
So much has happened in the last couple months,
and a lot of it drives me absolutly insane.
There's been crap with my ex, he confuses me most of the time
I talk to him.
I was talking to him last night and most of the thing he said
were super offensive.
He called me fat ( I know I'm not fat, but I really wish I didn't
hear that from him. )
he's jut been contradicting himself a lot. And I mean a lot.
Anyways, I did break up with him.
And I don't know how I should feel about that.
I actually feel happier, but I don't know if I want him to know that.
I don't want to hurt his feelings as much as I seem to have already.
I wish I could just have a great boyfriend like Jess or my sister does.
But I might be getting a job at Matteo's as a busser!
I'm really, really excited about that; and I hope it works out
for the best.
I've also been looking as postsecret stuff more.
It makes me have the urge to get off my lazy ass
and buy myself a camera. I have no money yet though.
I think it'd be cool to write secrets on the pictures I take
and put them on flickr.com. I'm pretty sure I need to get Photoshop
first though, and I have no clue how to do that.
2010-07-01 18:59:44
1:47
Hmm, what am I feeling today?
I feel lonely.
And confused.
Does anyone like me? It doesn't feel like it.
It could be just my hormones again, but I don't know.
I wish I was happy, like a lot of people are.
But it could be worse.
I could be living on the streets. With nothing but the clothes on my back?
Who am I? What the hell am I doing ?
I say I want to help, but where has that gotten' me?
I need someone to undestand, just like I try to understand others.
I'm not strong. I try to convince myself that I am, but it can't be true.
I want to be loved, I want to help others. But how can I do that, if I can't
even help myself.
I haven't been through anything. Sure, a bad relationship, a scary car
crash and a semi bad young childhood. But I haven't been through shit
compared to anyone else.
So how can i help?
I talk to God; I try to at least.
But i don't know, I'm going through one of my stages, yet again. This stage
is when I'm so fed up with life, I don't know what to believe.
Ugh, I just want it all to stop.
I'm tired and I'm sad. And I wish someone understood me.
I wish someone could help me help them, or help them to help myself.
I really need a gaurdian in my life.
I know the Lord is. But someone on planet earth.
That can listen and actually talk back and hold my hand and tell me
everything gunna' be alright.
All of that is my diary, please, someone. Any advice would be great.
(link)
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Lets start with your first post. Obviously I don't have the slightest idea about you and your ex's past relationship, but I'll try to help as best as I can. You did say you broke up with him, which seems like it was the best thing. Being put down, having offensive words thrown at you, being super confused...that's definitely not a healthy relationship. Especially that he called you fat...guys should NEVER call a girl fat, no matter how hurt they are!It's great that you feel happier now, though. I'm sure things will get better in time. I've dated such jerks in my past. I never thought I'd find a guy would treat me wonderful. But thankfully, I finally have & we've been dating for 4 years. So try not to stress too much about finding an amazing guy. God puts people in your life for reasons..when the time is right. You seem like a good person, and you definitely deserve a great boyfriend!
As for your second post--lonely, confused, ughh! I've been having those exact feelings & emotions. Despite having a great man. I also feel as though no one likes me sometimes. I mean, I DO have several good friends. I used to have A LOT of friends, but we're just so different now. I just don't fit into the things they enjoy doing. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so lonely a lot of the time? I don't know. I think I need more [girl] friends to talk to.
Anyways, like you, I also catch myself being kind of "depressed"..then I realize how good I actually have it. How worse things could be going for me. But it's just so hard to keep that in mind when you're feeling so down, you know? Do you go to church? I always used to, but I haven't been going for about a month or so now. It seems as though my days go a little smoother and I feel happier when I go to Church. Hmm, I should really start going again!
I'm really sorry that you've been feeling this way; but in a way, it feels good to know there's people out there who share the same emotions & such as me. I also wish there were more people out there who understood me..so I totally know how that is.
Things will get better. They really will. You'll find a fantastic man one day, God will eventually put people in your life who will cheer you up like no others & this stage of feeling lonely, sad & confused will pass. Keep your head up & never let your praying knees get lazy (:
I hoped this helped. My heart goes out to you-I know these emotions drive you crazy & make you feel alone. If you want to write back, please feel free!
Smile! (:
-Kristen
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Okay. So I am a male. I believe I am Bisexual. Theres this guy I've been talking to and me and my girlfriend after 3 years broke up yesterday. So today I'm with this guy and we kiss. But it felt really awkward. Am I confused? Or Do I just have to get used to it after a few times? Maybe it was shock? I know I like him... but its odd? (link)
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In my opinion, I think when people are confused about what they stand for or what they represent, they quickly try to find a label. (Bi, Gay, Les, Ect.) Labeling oneself is a way to feel like you belong to something. Like you're supported by a group. You don't HAVE to label your sexuality...who knows, you could be the guy who is sexually attracted to men, but isn't emotionally attracted. Or vice versa.
I'm sure it did feel awkward kissing your guy friend...but after dating a girl for three years, that is totally understandable. Try not to stress so much about this right now, even though it may be difficult. Keep being open-minded. Hang out with girls, guys, whoever you wish. In time, you will realize who you feel more comfortable around, & who makes you happier.
It all will change over time; your views, your thoughts on sexuality, and your feelings. So for now, go with the flow :)
Hope this helped & good luck! (:
-Kristen
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Im 13 years old and my boobs are big. I dont if its because im over weight but i rather lose my boob size than anything else. What can i do to make them small?! (no surgery) (link)
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Although some of these ideas may not make a HUGE difference, they will definitely help minimize the appearence of your boobs! ...
First thing, wear two bras. Wear your normal, every day bra with a "sports bra" over it. Not only does it give extra lift, it also pulls the breast in makes them look smaller. At first, it may feel a little uncomfortable, but you will get used to it.
Buy a bra that FITS GOOD. Many girls, especially ones with large breasts, walk around with sagging boobies that appear bigger because they are wearing the wrong bra size, haha. So make sure when you are bra shopping that you buy a size that fits you perfectly. It will make you look smaller and more natural.
Lastly, do chest exercises. The chest muscles connected to the breast can be lifted through exercises that focus on that area such as weight lifting, push-ups and pull-ups. The firmer these muscles are, the smaller your boobs will look.
Also, the more weight you gain, the bigger they will look. The more weight you lose, the smaller the will look.
In all seriousness, MANY girls would LOVE to have a larger breast size! I know it may seem uncomfortable for you now, since your only 13. But as you get older, I really do think that you will grow to love having bigger boobs.
Hope this helped!
Always remember, curvy women are much more attractive than stick-thin girls with no boobs (;
-Kristen
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My best friend has been telling me for like the past year now that she's jealous of me, that her friends like me better than her, and all this other stuff. She is always admitting this to me, it’s getting so confusing. I CONSTANTLY keep telling her that she's beautiful, smart, funny, and that I'm nothing above her. She won't listen. She doesn't even want me to hangout with our friends from swimming together because of this. And if guys are involved she always tells me not to look nice so I don't get all the attention. That's not a good friend. We're currently fighting and I'm afraid she'll tell our mutual friends something bad about me to keep them away from me. I don't know what to do other than talk to her. I guess I just want a second opinion. (link)
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I'm really sorry you're in this situation :(
Friends are supposed to support you through good times and bad--but hearing how jealous your friend is, it seems as though she's booing when you're happy and cheering when times are rough. Dealing with jealous friends is not easy at all..I've experienced this in the past also. Sometimes you can help them get through their insecurities, but other times it's best to break off your relationship --no matter how hard it may be.
Jealous friends envy you because they wish they had what you had. Decide whether your friend is insecure about her love life, looks, income, clothes, intelligence or something else. You're being a great friend by saying nice things, like telling her shes beautiful and such. But, the fact that she tells you "not to look nice so you don't get all the attention" is not good at all. If she was a true friend she would NOT say those things to you. Friends support eachother, say nice things to eachother...not bring eachother down. That's exactly what she's doing to you & it's not fair at all.
Expect all of your friends to support you through good times and bad. Stand up for yourself and do let allow her to do this to you anymore. She's making herself seem so low, and she really needs to realize that.
Hope this helped, even a little.
Good luck with everything (:
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14 female
i want to tell my parents that im bisexual but im scared cuz my entire family is part of the christian faith we go to church evey sunday and pray and all that stuff my family is very important to me and i dont want to lose them because of this but i dont wanna keep it a secret from them im not even sure when or where or how to tell them please help me!!! (link)
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Consider telling only one parent first if you think that will make the process easier. Many people find it easier to talk to one parent. Everyone's family is different; you should approach the situation in a way that works for you and your parents. Be prepared for your parents to ask you certain questions,too They may question whether or not you're sure you're bisexual, say they don't believe you, act as though you're just going through a phase or tell you that you'll grow out of it. Some parents may act as though you have a choice in determining your sexuality. Also, don't regret telling them if they automatically freak out. They will more than likely be upset at first, but you ARE their daughter. In time, they will learn to love you no matter the decisions to make. Until then, give your parents some time to think and talk about what you've told them. Not only do they have to deal with their own issues, they also must deal with society's stereotypes.
The fact that your family is christian may also lead to problems. You need to (camly) try your best to explain to them YOUR beliefs.
Explain to them that:
Gay is love.
Lesbian is love.
LOVE IS LOVE.
Let them know that you believe God would want you to be true to yourself, and not LIE and deceive everyone around you, by pretending to be something you are not. That would be a sin, wouldn't it?
No matter what their reaction may be, stay true to what you believe in. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Do your thing, stay proud and love whoever it may be that comes your way.
If you have any other questions, let me know.
Good luck-I'm sure everything will work out.
Maybe not at first, but definitely in time (:
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Hi there, im a 15 yr old male.
Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while, and i feel like its time to move on, but thats what every male feels like. So i knew she wasn't like that, she only likes kissing,but shes older than me. I really do love her, shes been the best to me and she makes me so happy. I want to hint her to move on, any tips?
Thank you very much,
Tom (link)
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Move on as in...get out of the relationship & move on? or move on as in physical things? Sorry I just didn't want to answer this without knowing what exactly you meant. haha let me know & i'll help ya out either way! (:
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I have been casually seeing this guy for around a year now. For the first 6 months it was just a laugh like nothing serious but now we are getting quite serious like he tells me his feelings are soo strong for me and stuff. We're always out, tell each other everything and like plans for the future and stuff. But he is geniunely scared of relationships. He was in one for 2 years and he's still best friends with the girl but they constantly argue and stuff and he says he doens't want me and him to ruin what we've got by a relationship. He's never seen a steady one seen as his parents split up, he had been cheated on when he was younger and alot of his friends parents have split up. i think he has alot of trust issues.
Thing is i have really fallen for him, we've been through alot together and alothough we're not actually in a relationship he always txts me random things like "my feelings for you are so strong" or "your an amazing person and i'm so glad with where we are" Last night i told him i love him and he seemed a bit taken aback by it, he said that they are really strong words but i just said thats how i feel i'm not expecting you to say anything back, maybe i shouldn't have said anything, then he said he was glad i did and nothing will change between us.
Does it matter he didn't say it back?
What do you think of our whole situation of not been fully committed?
Sorry it's long (link)
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Men are so hard to read. They are not as verbal as us girls, and some have been raised on the belief that "actions speak louder than words. ". But I totally understand why you probably felt slightly offended that he didn't say it back. You just want to know if you're a man's final destination, not just a rest stop along the highway. It seems like he's really into you, though. If he didn't care, he probably would have had a negative response when you said those three words. Instead, he was happy that you did. Maybe its actually a GOOD thing that you were the first to say it. It might have showed him that you really do like him and made him less afraid of commitment. Considering he does have trust issues due to his past, it probably will take him awhile to warm up to the idea of saying I love you..and being committed to an official relationship. Just be sure to support him and always try to prove to him that you won't let him down. Eventually, he will realize how much of a sweet, honest girl you are and will be more comfortable with being more than friends.
Just take your time. It's obvious you guys are very into each other, and its completely normal not to be fully committed right now. And don't regret saying "i love you". I'm sure it meant more to him than you think!
I hope this helped-Good luck with your boy! (:
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I need help! My bf and I have been dating for about 5ish months. I am not ready for intercourse condsidering I am only almost 14. I don't want to show him anything or him to show me anything. I also don't want for him to touch any of my private parts or vise-versa. I just want him to get turned on by me. I mean it would be something I can do in front of people too cause we don't get alot of alone time. I there anything I can do to make him really turne on so he stys interested In me? I know he is faithful but I want him just to stay interested. (also it's be great if I can do whatever it is do he doesn't think I'm a s**t or sumthing because I really don't want him to think that or anything like it. Thank you in advance! :) (link)
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I'm glad to hear you're waiting to do some of things..not too many young girls are like that anymore! You're definitely making a smart choice.
Anyways. Some girls think you have to act slutty to turn their man on-so not true! There are so many little things you could do...and yes, even in front of people! Here are a few..
-Small, gentle kissing on his neck. I mean,you don't want to sit there and suck on his neck with friends watching! lol But just small little kisses will do the trick (:
-Get Dolled Up! Now, you're only almost 14. So you don't want to dress too sexy, or anything. But face it..LESS SKIN=HIM TURNED ON. Short shorts is the way to go (; Curl your hair, put on a little lipgloss..his eyes will be glued on you!
-This one might sound a little silly-but it has always worked for me. Whisper something really soft in his ear. Even if you just whisper "You're so sexy"..he'll love it!
-Make several attempts to touch him as you guys are talking. Touch his hand, leg, shoulder, whatever. Eventually he'll notice and if he says anything about it, just say "Sorry, I can't keep me hands off of you!" If you do this, it will show him that you are very attracted to him. This will keep him interested.
-Sit on his lap. Act normal, and have a normal conversation. In his mind, he will be so turned on! Especially if your booty is like..right..THERE, ya know? haha! Trust me, he'll enjoy it.
-Lastly, BE YOURSELF.Guys love confident girls. Doing these things will show him that you're into him...and they will keep him wanting more, without you even acting slutty. The more you do these simple things, the more things you will think of to do.
I hope this helped-Good luck with your boy!(:
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17/f. My vagina itches extremely bad, the discharge is sometimes but NOT always clumpy and white, and when i go to the bathroom, toilet paper sticks to my vagina and it seems as though it makes it itch more. What's wrong? I made an appointment for the gynecologist, but it's so irritating and it's hard to deal with. Is there anything i can do to minimize the itching until i get to the doctors? (link)
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Honestly, this could just be simple irritation. Have you recently changed your soap/body wash? That can play a huge role when dealing with problems down there. How about swimming...have you been swimming in a pool lately? Chlorine can cause an itching effect, also.
Most likely your gyno will tell you that you have a yeast infection, which they usually give you an antibiotic for. Until then, you should get a vagisil cream to ease the itchiness. Also, avoid strong scented soaps, body wash, ect..you don't want to irritate it anymore. One more tip is using baby powder. Just sprinkle some down there--it should also ease the annoying itchiness!
Hope this helped-Good luck (:
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Ok recently I got m hai cu to abot on top of my shoulders. I have side bangs also. Any cute ways to wear t? I usually werE it up in a pony tail with my bangs down and it's really wavey whn I get out I the shower. Help please! My hair is light brown/dirty blonde. I'm also 13/f. Any help is great! Thanks! (link)
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You're new haircut sounds cute, especially with the side bangs! Anyways, have you ever searched "cute hair styles" on YouTube?
Here's an example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmRFAryhrgQ
Hope this helps!(:
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