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friend or love

Question Posted Sunday December 12 2010, 8:44 pm

So I have these two friends, lewis and tommy. tommy I like and just started hanging out with the past month. And lewis I have known for about a year and we tell each other everything, including how much i like tommy. now lately lewis has been kinda grrr whenever i talk about him and i was like ok whatever, and then a few days ago they call me threeway and both tell me that they both like me. . . they are best friends and have been since 7th u see my dilemma. also tommy says he likes me but doesnt wanna do a relationship.....lewis says he likes me but im not for sure how i feel about him yet...but either way they are best friends and i dont want to be the one to wreck their friendship....yet i feel a little awkward about the whole situation...are things gonna change? Will i still be able to talk to lewis about thing? will we be able to stay friends? i have been thinking a lot as you can tell. please help.....any help you can give at all small or big would be greatly apreciated. thanks

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curiousfox answered Monday December 13 2010, 2:25 pm:
Well, to being with, Tommy has already told you he doesn't feel ready for a relationship. That's your clue right there to not pursue him. As for Lewis, you need to just tell him how you feel about him. Tell him you love him to death as a friend and don't want to lose your friendship; but you aren't sure if you feel the same way he feels about you.
There's nothing wrong with choosing not to be with either one of them. Especially if you feel guilty coming between their friendship. Plus, you don't want to wind up dating one while having feelings for the other.
I would simply explain to both of them that you respect them and their friendship too much and are choosing not to be with either of them as more than friends.

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lovealways1221 answered Monday December 13 2010, 12:37 pm:
this one is tricky.. if you decide to go out with one of them, you're gonna risk losing a friendship. however, if you don't go out with either one of them, things might stay the same and nothing will be solved.

its really up to you. nobody on this website can tell you what to do. we can only give you advice and our opinions. my opinion is that you shouldn't go out with either one of them. because if you pick one, you're gonna lose the other. and that is way too messy and dramatic. you can probably find another guy who you will KNOW you like, instead of thinking "im not sure if i like him".

but like i said, its your choice. you should try talking to both of them separately and let them know how you feel. tell lewis that you're not sure about how you feel about him and that if you guys hung out some more and got to know each other better, you might know then. tell tommy that you aren't going to pressure him into a relationship (because he doesnt want one) but let him know that you care about him and like him.

also try thinking about flipping the situation and being in their shoes. what if you and your best friend liked the same guy? would you want the guy to pick one of you guys and then have you and your bff not be friends anymore? or would you rather have him pick nobody and that way you can stay friends with everybody?

inbox me if you have more questions.

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