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My boyfriend's mom thinks we're having sex
18/f and my boyfriend is 15
Well me and my boyfriend decided we would abstain from having sex. We've been dating for 7 months now and most of the time everything is great. While we may not be having sex we still do other things (pretty much everything but actual intercourse). His mom has come home and seen us messing around in my car before he went in the house and just told him later that she understands how it is but he needs to wait to have sex and he said we were so it sounds like problem solved. Well not really because he's been a few minutes late for curfew lately and apparently the other night she told him to "be careful in what he chooses to do because some things you cant take back" i think he thought she was talking bout curfew but i instantly thought she was talking about sex. Thats what it sounds like to me. I dont know if she saw us messing around again or what but what do i do to convince her that we arent having sex. It's hard enough to abstain so cutting off everything just wont happen. I get that he's only 15 but he is way mature for his age and is a really good guy. I guess im wondering if i should talk to her? I really dont want to but if i have to i guess i will. I think he should say something to her but i just dont know what he could say that will convince her to trust that we are abstaining.
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Be careful, Be VERY careful
Depending on the state, You don't have to actually have sex with a minor to be charged. If his mother DID decide to press charges you could very well fall under the following:
Child Molestation, Sexual Contact of a minor etc.
Why aren't you dating someone your own age?..Too mature for the age of 15, The fact is it does not change that he is a minor and is still a child.
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I dated younger guys when I was your age because they always seemed to treat me better than the older ones. You should try fooling around somewhere away from his house and make sure he gets home well before his curfew, so she can start to trust you a little more. If it won't bother you. you can friend her on facebook and send her a private message that may put her mind at ease about your intentions. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask me. Hope this helps and good luck.
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I need to offer a word of warning here before I answer your question. Be very careful here; if you turn 19 while he is still 15 you come under the statutory rape statue in most states. The way it reads is that if there is 4 or more years of age difference between you and him you can be charged with statutory rape. It does not matter if sex has occurred or not. In some states the age difference is even less. You would be well served to check what that age difference is in your state before you consider speaking with his mother.
The first question his mother is going to want an answer to is why you are not dating someone your own age? It will matter not to her that you see him as mature for his age; she probably See's you as a predator.
Everything could be just as innocent as you portray it; unfortunately in today's society we do not see it that way. Today you are seen as a cougar of sorts. In the past nobody gave it much thought. My own in-laws had a 5 year age difference between them with my mother in-law being the older one.
We have become a very untrusting and sceptical society, possibly for good reason. This is what may await you should you decide to speak with his mother. On the surface your offer to speak with his mother is a good idea. A little reverse roll playing where you tell her what your intentions are towards her son. It may put her mind at ease or fuel her suspicions even more.
In a nut shell the problem is that you are letting your heart override your common sense. It happens all the time. I think you know this hence you thinking of speaking with his mother. I also believe you know what her thoughts are going to be and what she will most likely say to you. For both your own good and the well being of your boyfriend I think you should follow what you know to be the right choice here.
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